I'm a Republican, but if I had my choice of running or having Obama - or somebody, but Obama, even Barack Obama… — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch… — Mike Epps Copy Share Image
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
If it's just the voice, then you can only do jokes. It's not really even about the impression so much. It's about… — Frank Caliendo Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think your little jokes'll help you on your deathbed?" she jeered. "Jokes? No,no, these are manners," replied Dumbledore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Today is Veterans Day. Thank you to all our men and women who have served the United States armed forces. In honor… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton wouldn't have make a joke about wiping the server clean with a towel or now we find out about bashing… — Eric Bolling Copy Share Image
I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure… — Anne Lamott Copy Share Image
I am an artist and a writer, and I do think that one always places oneself in the picture to see where… — Arundhati Roy Copy Share Image
I never used to be as good, you get better. I've just gotten better and quicker at figuring out the joke. — Gerry Dee Copy Share Image
I remember after I dated this white man, nobody said anything but there was a couple of men in my family that… — Sanaa Lathan Copy Share Image
The 'good' mother, with her fixed smile, her rigidity, her goody-goody outlook, her obsession with unnecessary hygiene, is in fact a fool.… — Rachel Cusk Copy Share Image
I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is… — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire. — Superman Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When generally people make race-based jokes to me - even if they're not technically racist, they're sort of based on me being… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
If ugliness was measured in bricks, you would be the great wall of China. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What do we care, if the world is a joke? We'll give it a big kiss, we'll give it a poke. Death… — Elvis Costello Copy Share Image
Listen. Look. Desire is a house. Desire needs closed space. Desire runs out of doors or windows, or slats or pinpricks, it… — Aimee Bender Copy Share Image
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. Mother, where do babies come from?… — Kevin Copy Share Image
