The Awkward Moment When The Teacher Cracks A Joke In The Class And Nobody Laughs... — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes. — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be… — Nikki Sixx Copy Share Image
We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes for the CD. You know what sweeten means, right? Sweeten is a show-biz… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If Harriet Miers were not a crony of the president of the United States, her nomination to the Supreme Court would be… — Charles Krauthammer Copy Share Image
If you're going to have a book full of clever people and nobody ever jokes, it's just not going to ring true… — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
I joke that I stick with the job because it covers my insurance, but the reality is that my career has always… — Michelle Obama Copy Share Image
You think it's funny? well I'm going to think it's funny when someone treats you like shit, and makes you do this… — Alexia Copy Share Image
Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture; the most resonant of them get lodged in the language… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
At MakerBot, we joke that if we were engineers we would still be on our first prototype. There's something about just 'Doing… — Bre Pettis Copy Share Image
I'm just having fun making jokes and writing books. But you see me once a year, I come on when I have… — T.C. Boyle Copy Share Image
Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and… — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
This is not really currency that circulates. It's like the old joke about expensive vintage wine. Wine prices will go up and… — Michael Hudson Copy Share Image
I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny,… — Larry King Copy Share Image
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“And there's a cop over there." "What?" the boy said, glancing at the D.C. police officer that stood at the corner of… — Ally Carter Copy Share Image
There used to be a joke that women need a reason to have sex, while men only need a place. Does policy… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke. — Sally Phillips Copy Share Image
Never get into fights with ugly people, cause no matter what u already won... — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
Newton's third law of emotion: for every male action, there is a female and opposite overreaction! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Writing and telling jokes is my favorite thing to do, and I want to be able to do that forever. — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One stupid returned from traveling At the apartment fool cockroaches .. Not lock the door … — Lil Wol Copy Share Image
There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable — Benoit Mandelbrot Copy Share Image
I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke. — Steven Morrissey Copy Share Image
For Joey Bishop, always was kind of the lost soul, so I did a traffic joke. — Garry Marshall Copy Share Image
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke. — Robert Wyatt Copy Share Image
