“Daughter asks her Mum: Mum, how many kinds of penises are there? Mother smiles and answers: Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After fifties, it is like a christmas tree. Daughter asks: Christmas Tree? Mother answers: Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decorations only.”
![“I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and all that type of bullshit, going up there and doing a flat 20 [minutes]. I reckon I'd have better stagecraft and presence than Jesus. Yea, I'm a better stand-up comedian than…” quote by Jim Jefferies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0fb/jim-jefferies-8092_blessed_i-wouldn-t-mind-gigging-around-the-same_24477.jpg)
