I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want,… — Chris Kyle Copy Share Image
We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all… — Daniel Dennett Copy Share Image
Something about not waiting for the laugh of a laugh track allows you to take lines that otherwise might be seen as… — Mitchell Hurwitz Copy Share Image
I tell you it's no joke to paint a portrait. I wonder that I am not more timid when I begin. I… — William Morris Hunt Copy Share Image
The place that I worked I used to joke about it. There was a, every morning at 10:30 I'd come into work… — Al Kooper Copy Share Image
If we were making a cop comedy about bad cops or cops who were comically bad at the jobs, then the jokes… — Daniel J. Goor Copy Share Image
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It's like, "Is this a funny… — Kanye West Copy Share Image
I hate Mother's Day. If anything, it's an affront to all women who think full-time moms have never worked a day in… — Kimberly Guilfoyle Copy Share Image
“I am a kind of joke, but the question is: which kind? My job is to keep everyone guessing.” — Gary Shteyngart Copy Share Image
The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff. — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount… — Alex Winter Copy Share Image
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic. — Ashley Benson Copy Share Image
God gave us the miracle of life - sustaining water, & we turned it into Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi & Vodka. Good job, Morons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that. — Abe Burrows Copy Share Image
"My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is they never wink back." It's kind of the perfect joke because it's a… — Gavin McInnes Copy Share Image
