Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Monkey will be monkeys little monkeys but if you take their banana they going take yours — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
“Ever notice how really smart people enjoy making silly jokes?” — Elizabeth Chandler Copy Share Image
I think writers have become hypnotised by the number of jokes on the page at the expense of character. — Sherwood Schwartz Copy Share Image
The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count. — Paul Auster Copy Share Image
There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together,… — Ben Miller Copy Share Image
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring… — Horla Copy Share Image
John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Any so-called leader who does not take this issue (climate change) seriously or treats it like a joke is not fit to… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
What is a sense of humor? Surely not the ability to understand a joke. It comes rather from a residing feeling of… — Clifton Fadiman Copy Share Image
There are always a lot of jokes and good vibes floating through the studio so tattooing all day doesn't feel like a… — William Webb Copy Share Image
I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
This is really hard to do but I'd like to change the tone now and briefly mention today's terrible tragedy in France.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It just seems like right now we’re in a place where people are being witch-hunted for expressing an opinion. Even if it’s… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
An old joke has an Oxford professor meeting an American former graduate student and asking him what he's working on these days.… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do comedy again. It is way harder when you are doing comedy. You can't just concentrate on the… — Patricia Richardson Copy Share Image
In montage's original form as photomontage, it is capable of striking effects and on occasion it can even become a powerful political… — Gyorgy Lukacs Copy Share Image
When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
