Take care, Jeffy. I’ll see you soon, right? Just remember not to throw food at the nurses. I don’t want to get… — Jordan Sonnenblick Copy Share Image
Art once made a cult of beauty. Now we have a cult of ugliness instead. This has made art into an elaborate… — Roger Scruton Copy Share Image
To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Make a list of all the lovers you've ever had. Warren Lasher Ed "Rubberhead" Catapano Charles Deats or Keats Alfonse Tuck it… — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
Very few people ever meet celebrities. All we really know is what we read about them and the most memorable lines are… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Garry Shandling is someone I've publicly gone gay for, for jokes. Oh and anyone in the Twilight movies. I don't know any… — David Duchovny Copy Share Image
Here's the thing, with comedy - and I learned this from Will Ferrell - you can't be ashamed. If you're doing comedy,… — John C. Reilly Copy Share Image
Around year seven or eight, you'd kill yourself when you realized Norm had to enter and you had to come up with… — Ted Danson Copy Share Image
We always joke now like, you know, the more experienced we get making stuff, we're like, "Never leave set without a shot… — Mark Duplass Copy Share Image
Why are you making a joke out of this?" she asks. "Because it's stupid, Nik. There's not even room in my day… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“I want people to be allowed to make jokes about, and discuss, anything they want. I don’t think people should be ostracized… — Milo Yiannopoulos Copy Share Image
I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark. — Daniel Radcliffe Copy Share Image
Every moment of life is unique-a kiss, a sunset, a dance, a joke. None will ever recur in quite the same way.… — Stephen Nachmanovitch Copy Share Image
There's an old joke that you know you're in heaven if the cooks are Italian and the engineering is German. If it's… — David Byrne Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The more moral the people are in their business dealings, the less paperwork you need, the more handshakes you can have, the… — Rick Santorum Copy Share Image
My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be… — Nikki Sixx Copy Share Image
Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not… — Todd Phillips Copy Share Image
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opened wider, go… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
