Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue) — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
It might suprise you to know I think I raised them too much, too — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. — David Brenner Copy Share Image
Mary's mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others' expense. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Humour is ahead of everything creatively. I think if things aren't humorous, they are just crap. — Roisin Murphy Copy Share Image
Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“One day we found them. They must of been holding a gook convention or something, cause it seem like the same sort… — Winston Groom Copy Share Image
“Well, looks like you won't be reaching nirvana anytime soon." She pushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead and sniffed.… — Beth Hoffman Copy Share Image
“My secret world of bosom sculpting is crashing down around me. I’m destined for bra-stuffing rehab in a distant boobicus minimus land.… — Amy Holder Copy Share Image
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“My mouth was dry. Whispers carried on the wind as the maids around me bunched together in small groups, hysterical, morbid. I… — A.E. Croft Copy Share Image
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
The desire to express in an art form and to compose a tableau and vignette whether it's humorous, burlesque, or poetic comes… — Elia Suleiman Copy Share Image
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Many of the things that stifle growth are morally neutral. They're not bad things. Facebook is not bad. Television and movies are… — Matt Chandler Copy Share Image
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Being a monk was the strangest and most perverted way of life imaginable. Monks spent half their lives putting themselves through pain… — Ken Follett Copy Share Image
Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“What are summer teeth? Summer in their mouth, Some are elsewhere.” — Suzanne Woods Fisher Copy Share Image
I intended to give you some advice but now I remember how much is left over from last year unused. — George Harris Copy Share Image
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker.” — Regina Griffin Copy Share Image
Stalin didn't write any memoirs. He was too secretive. He was afraid people might read them. — Jonathan Lynn Copy Share Image
“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. — Frank Lloyd Wright Copy Share Image
I look into eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, I am going to… — Seve Ballesteros Copy Share Image
“I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.” — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception. — Victor Kiam Copy Share Image
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
