“If he's after sledge I'd say he's a bottom, and a very sore one if he succeeds , cos your bro looks… — Marita A. Hansen Copy Share Image
“The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have become super… — Sariah Wilson Copy Share Image
I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Shut up, Arthur,' said my mother, and he zipped his mouth shut like an infuriating child. Ginger started to laugh. Not at… — Sarah Winman Copy Share Image
I say the American Medical Association ought to get the hell off the golf course and answer this question ... — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“You were listening at the door, Gigi!" "No, Grandmamma." "Yes, you had your ear to the keyhole. You must never listen at… — Collette Copy Share Image
The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for… — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
“All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.” — Carl White Copy Share Image
I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it. — Carl Jung Copy Share Image
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things. — Alan Coren Copy Share Image
It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and the cigarette were placed on prescription. — Malcolm Potts Copy Share Image
“People don't tend to employ me. I'm the wrong personality type. Or rather, people do tend to employ me for a short… — Marian Keyes Copy Share Image
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“He says in his defence he never meddled with married women, only with virgins.” — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“Being a monk was the strangest and most perverted way of life imaginable. Monks spent half their lives putting themselves through pain… — Ken Follett Copy Share Image
“...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die.” — Joshua Donellan Copy Share Image
