“I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“Lunar Eclipse doesn't that sound like a car you can only drive at night?” — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“The point of tantric sex was supposedly to harness sexual energy to awaken higher consciousness. It was just like yoga, but way… — Jackson Radcliffe Copy Share Image
The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The poor have little; beggars, none; the rich, too much; enough, not one. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
“Innerst inne vill folk ha mulattbarn. Alla samma utblandade fadda plusminusnoll-människa.” — Sami Said Copy Share Image
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm sure I spent more time in Texas than anybody else who had run for President recently. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I suppose we all have our recollections of our earlier holidays, all bristling with horror. — Flann O'Brien Copy Share Image
... The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune… — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: "Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
“Q and Beanpole and I giggled at the way our math teacher, Mr. Sung-Li, wore four pencils in his shirt pocket in… — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Until I became a parent, I thought children just naturally knew how to catch a ball, that catching was an instinctive biological… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
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