“And his father has the gall to think I’d seduce a kid who uses Clearasil instead of aftershave!” — Elaine Raco Chase Copy Share Image
“Taggle was absorbed in the meat pie. ‘It’s covered in BREAD,’ he huffed. ‘What fool has covered MEAT with BREAD?” — Erin Bow Copy Share Image
“It would look pretty messed up to be a social worker and have dried kid blood as a permanent stain in your… — Holly Goldberg Sloan Copy Share Image
Life is same for everyone. The difference is only that some are living by heart and some for only sake of living — Abhishek Shukla Copy Share Image
All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The manipulation of statistical formulas is no substitute for knowing what one is doing. — Hubert M. Blalock Copy Share Image
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down. — Collis Potter Huntington Copy Share Image
Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you got me four Grammys. — Sam Smith Copy Share Image
There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have… — Bat Masterson Copy Share Image
“Nothing that happened in the past is anything we can change. And it shouldn’t interfere with the happiness of the present.” — Linda Armstrong Copy Share Image
Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a… — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
“In her small voice, Persephone said, "I have nothing to add." After a moment of consideration, she added, however, "If you are… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
Take motherhood: nobody ever thought of putting it on a moral pedestal until some brash feminists pointed out, about a century ago,… — Barbara Ehrenreich Copy Share Image
“Oh, it's called, em...' Kate thinks, 'I can't remember what it's called.' 'You're the same as me,' Dad says to her. 'You've… — Cecelia Ahern Copy Share Image
Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
There's nothing on it worthwhile, and we're not going to watch it in this household, and I don't want it in your… — Philo Farnsworth Copy Share Image
“Observation" If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“He was rather a low sort of pony. The fact is, he had been originally jobbed out by the day, and he… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Indeed, so far from being humorous, the male American is the most abnormally serious creature who ever existed.. It is only fair… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
“I asked a nurse for dental floss and was told that I am not allowed dental floss. Apparently dental floss can be… — Emily Austin Copy Share Image
Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should… — Bob Costas Copy Share Image
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Diligence and attention soon gave him the knack of it, and he strode down the street with his mouth full of harmony… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I would like to be able to admire a man's opinions as I would his dog - without being expected to take… — Frank A. Clark Copy Share Image
If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it. — Les Aspin Copy Share Image
“What I know now is that gallant young men rarely get pussy. Put it on a sampler and hang it in your… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
The most colossal display of wise, inspiring, and humorous metaphors ever exhibited in one place. — Richard Lederer Copy Share Image
“You know we've got it bad when a naked and gyrating Channing Tatum can't solve our problems.” — Jen Frederick Copy Share Image
Okay everybody, line up in alphabetical order according to your height. — Casey Stengel Copy Share Image
Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Economics, n.: Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K. Galbraith ... — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
“In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents) — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
“What better time to be kind to a beautiful stranger than when she’s weak, and rocking a schnoz like the Godfather?” — Leslea Tash Copy Share Image
I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about. — Don Mazankowski Copy Share Image
