I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it's often the same message: They hope it's my last. — Al Forman Copy Share Image
“We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole… — Bjarne Stroustrup Copy Share Image
Never draw anything you can copy, never copy anything you can trace, never trace anything you can cut out and paste up. — Wally Wood Copy Share Image
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. — Colonel Sanders Copy Share Image
We old roosters must be cautious. Don't try to outwit your arteries. — S. J. Perelman Copy Share Image
“Be wary the treasure you pluck is not attached to the toe of a dragon.” — Melissa McPhail Copy Share Image
“I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, “Morning breath!” — Melissa Aragon Copy Share Image
“Go on, you've claimed your thirty pieces of silver, go do something crazy like put gas in that penis replacement you call… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what… — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
“Not everyone who talks less or keeps quiet whenever they are with or around you does that because they find you interesting… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“You took your clothes off?" "You didn't notice?" "No! Jeez Louise, I don't even know you." "If you look under the covers,… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well.… — Ron Glass Copy Share Image
Saturday night in Toledo Ohio, Is like being nowhere at all, All through the day how the hours rush by, You sit… — John Denver Copy Share Image
As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am absolutely sick unto death of hearing people say - they all say this; it must be Item One on the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“My sub doesn't pay for me,” he says, pulling me to my feet. “That just doesn't happen.” “But we ordered so much,”… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Where in the Bible are we told in one verse not to do a thing and in the next to do it?… — Samuel Grant Oliphant Copy Share Image
If I freely may discover What should please me in my lover, I would have her fair and witty, Savouring more of… — Ben Jonson Copy Share Image
