Fathers should teach their sons how to earn money because mothers teach their daughters how to spend it. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
“Time flies when you're falling down"...(not from a book, it's a lyric)” — Courtney Love Copy Share Image
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride"... — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“He says in his defence he never meddled with married women, only with virgins.” — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“Yes, he's an equal opportunity asshole," Szilard said. "And he's aware of it, which he thinks means it's okay.” — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
Most people I ask little from. I try to give them much, and expect nothing in return and I do very well… — Francois Fenelon Copy Share Image
“The cup flew out of my hands and my God was it beautiful. I wish the Planet Earth video crew were there… — David Bowick Copy Share Image
“Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass, and come collect a big,… — M. leighton Copy Share Image
“For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The poor man’s face twisted into a grimace and he pounded on the bar, protesting loudly. “Oh, you shush,” Kim demanded as… — Kirsten Fullmer Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized. — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
“To exemplify, -a beautiful glossy nut, which, blessed with original strength, has outlived all the storms of autumn. Not a puncture, not… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One of the glories of doing the book So You Want to Be President? was the shifts in tone, where I was… — David Small Copy Share Image
“McG: 11:39 PM: Tease. A: Bushy prehistoric looking veggies frighten me. Lilliana: 11:41 PM: WTH are we talking about here? McG: 11:42… — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
“Mr Kingsley begins then by exclaiming- 'O the chicanery, the wholesale fraud, the vile hypocrisy, the conscience-killing tyranny of Rome! We have… — John Henry Newman Copy Share Image
“He would not object, he said, to accepting a post as a librarian. But as Cecilia was unable to imagine that her… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image
Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“There were, however, a few exceptions. One was Norma Dodsworth, the poet, who had not unpleasantly drunk but had been sensible enough… — Arthur C. Clarke Copy Share Image
