The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long. — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“This must be the most embarrassing moment in my life. I am glad I am too ill to appreciate it fully.” — Janet Mullany Copy Share Image
People are your most valuable asset. Only people can be made to appreciate in value. — Stephen Covey Copy Share Image
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
That fellow seems to me to possess but one idea, and that is a wrong one. — Samuel Johnson Copy Share Image
In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
“Soon the grizzly was joined by a brown bear, a sun bear, and a beaver suffering from an identity crisis of magnificent… — Cameron Dokey Copy Share Image
“Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?” — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
“In Wilson's scale of evaluations breakfast rated just after life itself and ahead of the chance of immortality." ~ By His Bootstraps… — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
“No, my eldest brother. He was named after our father. Our parents died when the Romans first invaded, and Stephano then became… — Lynsay Sands Copy Share Image
God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little ... The trade unions, under the European system,… — Henry Ward Beecher Copy Share Image
First, there was Confucius. Then, the sayings of Chairman Mao. And now the pithy, ironic, and humorous insights of Ai Weiwei. I… — Jerome A. Cohen Copy Share Image
One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry, the greater the amount of violence… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“It seems - and who so astonished as they? - that they had held back material facts; that they were guilty of… — Rudyard Kipling Copy Share Image
“Where did you get that assault weapon?" "Assault weapon?" Zach turned his head to look at her. "Well, lookey there. You're cute… — Suzie Quint Copy Share Image
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
