“It says adult prison on the gates, not Hogwarts. Now, get in and say hi to your new housmate.” — Dean Cole Copy Share Image
A perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large. — Alyce Cornyn-Selby Copy Share Image
The desire to express in an art form and to compose a tableau and vignette whether it's humorous, burlesque, or poetic comes… — Elia Suleiman Copy Share Image
I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
“Keep rechewing. Like a cow. Use all your creative stomachs.” — Elizabeth M. Lawrence Copy Share Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, "What I'm… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Considering that "literary fiction" is a sub-genre that's not quite the same as "literature," either, it follows that the short, semi-humorous bits… — Lee Klein Copy Share Image
Acid is not for every brain .... Only the healthy, happy, wholesome, handsome, hopeful, humorous, high-velocity should seek these experiences. This elitism… — Timothy Leary Copy Share Image
Fathers should teach their sons how to earn money because mothers teach their daughters how to spend it. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
“I know that not all my readers like my digressions, but the research that has been done on Caenorhabditis elegans is such… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
“When we faced Mom, we saw she was addressing Max. "We get to know each other I'll get to hug you." "Mom!"… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to… — Robyn Peterman Copy Share Image
“Lovely, not only did the truck look like it was on its last leg, it was going to take the environment with… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
“What are you working on?" Elizabeth asked. Nate could hear her tapping a pencil on her desk. She took notes during their… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“It wasn’t until someone kicked his legs that Nik woke up. Alek, snoring beside him, his head resting on his shoulder. Ban… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie, she is at rest - and so… — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Kalina remained paralyzed in her seat. “Oh, crap. Aaron was a vampire.” She straightened up. Remain calm, Kalina. Breathe. “You're not going… — Kailin Gow Copy Share Image
