“Well, thank the gods,' he sighed. 'Oh? And what would it be you're thanking them for?' Bahzell inquired, and Brandark grinned. 'For… — David Weber Copy Share Image
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“It’s human nature to view life from our own reality. This causes serious problems when a rescue mission is being led by… — Jaime Buckley Copy Share Image
“The hamster-powered hat is the same as any other hat. It keeps your head warm and looks smart,” the inventor said. “The… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to… — Toby Young Copy Share Image
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Maybe there'll be a simple, innocent explanation. I don't think so, because I think we would have offered that up already. — Mike McCurry Copy Share Image
“Everyone was going crazy, like they’d just witnessed the birth of Jesus and the invention of electricity at the same time. Jude… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner.… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
“It wasn't a lie, not at all like one of those lies she told herself all the time, like This is the… — Melissa de la Cruz Copy Share Image
“But stay away from him, Juliana. When we said we wanted to make you a good match, Leighton was not who we… — Sarah MacLean Copy Share Image
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“...but as his father used to say when he had a few drinks taken, you couldn't expect bloody miracles when you were… — Joseph O'Connor Copy Share Image
“Livvy and me together in an elevator for four hours..and we're good. To some eyes the fact that we're both alive could… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men love a joke - on the other fellow. But your really humorous woman loves a joke on herself. — Mary Roberts Rinehart Copy Share Image
A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice. — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
