There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. — Flannery O'Connor Copy Share Image
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I am sure there are many things better than a good cigar, but right now, I can't think of what they might… — Richard Carleton Copy Share Image
I say the American Medical Association ought to get the hell off the golf course and answer this question ... — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand. — Fritz Maytag Copy Share Image
“what you know and don’t deny that you don’t know and knowing this you know what and why you don’t know. Right?” — Jennifer Hillman Copy Share Image
I believe that all women are pretty without makeup- but with the right makeup can be pretty powerful. — Bobbi Brown Copy Share Image
In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department.… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“When you argue with someone, you always argue at the level of the person with the lowest level of intelligence. You never… — Spuds Crawford Copy Share Image
“Showing up underdressed is as smart as standing in the marketplace and shouting you've become an agent for the crown." "I'd hang… — Lynn Viehl Copy Share Image
It was to be a short visit for the G-shevs. More than four days in the U.S. and Raisa's VISA card bill… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Don't be so damned patronizing. Your performance so far has been a little less than dazzling." "I didn't mean no harm," I… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
“You look good as a Pirate." Erin "Ahoy, matey," he said, laying her back against the grass. "Me cap'n's ship needs a… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“One thing I’d realized in the last year was that there were some things no one could give you permission to do.… — Kami Garcia Copy Share Image
There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
... The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune… — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
“Darcy’s hand suddenly rammed angrily into a bowl of fruit and grasped an innocent, unsuspecting orange. “Enough. The woman is demented. Our… — Karen V. Wasylowski Copy Share Image
“There were two books I remember changing my life as a introverted, bookish 14 year old. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and… — Christopher Odell Homsley Copy Share Image
“... It wasn't my finest moment, but I rolled my eyes and actually huffed. "Fine, don't answer. I don't even know why… — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
“The one that sang, old Janine, was always whispering into the g***** microphone before she sang. She'd say, 'And now we like… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image