My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“At some point, our lips met and it was perhaps the most wonderful thing I'd ever experienced. And truly, I guess there… — Dean Hale Copy Share Image
It seems a strange thing, but once I was able to get past that kind of self-image problem, I was able to… — Amy Poehler Copy Share Image
“Davis spun back around, with a nod at Wilkins. “You know, I think Merriam-Webster here is right, Jack—you do have a glowering… — Julie James Copy Share Image
People hit the sauce in a big way all winter. Amidst blizzards they wrestle unsuccessfully with the dark comedy of their lives,… — Amy Gerstler Copy Share Image
No one would have been invited to dinner so often as Jesus was unless he were interesting and had a sense of… — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
“According to Marcie's mom, only people with no class actually use the word class . If you have it, then you never… — Kristin Walker Copy Share Image
“You’re not the only one in this relationship who loves a challenge,” he says. “And just so you know for the future,… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“His expression changed, and he took a step back. He looked away. "When you said it was broken , you were just… — Brigid Kemmerer Copy Share Image
“That’s tough. Anything I can do?” “Just stay in play as my backup.” I nearly swerved the car off the road. “I’m… — Chloe Neill Copy Share Image
I thought all comedy was stupid. I went to watch a friend do stand-up and I thought absolutely everyone was terrible. — Sara Pascoe Copy Share Image
If we can't have comedy books written about aspects of womanhood without going into a panic attack about it, then we haven't… — Helen Fielding Copy Share Image
My friends on Twitter didn't abandon their beliefs or their principles - only their scorn. They channeled their infinitely justifiable offense and… — Megan Phelps-Roper Copy Share Image
“He turned to Harley, the oddly muscular eight-year-old son of Hephaestus. "Want to come with? I might need help with the projector."… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“Are you afraid?" Volker questioned while sitting at the table and getting comfortable. "No. But I have incredible luck with dice and… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There's such a rich history in 'SNL' of political humor, and I think audience members expect that from us. — Sasheer Zamata Copy Share Image
The hardest thing to get is true emotion. I always believe you need to earn that with the audience. You can't just… — John Lasseter Copy Share Image
