Some people are saying that the reason Michael Phelps isn't doing so well is because he let himself get too out of… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today Donald Trump reaffirmed his stance against gay marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and his much younger third… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
If I existed 200 years ago, all the other farmers in my community would be like, 'That guy is worthless! He's sitting… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II...Fifty children! What I want to know is,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
I can't wait for the Republican debates to start and there's literally 65 guys on one stage. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump is the grandson of German immigrants. Don't worry. The last time a German guy with crazy hair took over a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Pope Francis announced that next year he is coming to the United States, or as Fox News is reporting it, 'Obama lets… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It has become cliché to say I laughed until I cried, but when I'm done reading one of [Kupperman's] underground comics my… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
St.Patrick's Day is named for St. Patrick, the first guy to feed Guinness to a snake. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Russia has named Vladimir Putin its man of the year for the 15th year in a row. Putin got 143 million votes… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The top two movies at the box office this weekend were 'High School Musical 3' and 'Saw V.' One movie features gruesome… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People all over the world now are following our election. And according to a new international poll that just came out, I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Tom Brady says he wants to give the truck he was given as the Super Bowl MVP to the guy who won… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
![“It has become cliché to say I laughed until I cried, but when I'm done reading one of [Kupperman's] underground comics my shirt is literally soaking wet. This guy may have one of the best comedy brains on the planet right now.” quote by Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a43/conan-o-brien-540_best-comedy_it-has-become-clich-to-say-i-laughed-unt_2561145.jpg)
