“I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Before I grab your ass, I’ll take off my gloves. They’re cutting off circulation to my thighs.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I put gloves on before I put gloves on, so I don’t get my gloves dirty.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than boxing gloves.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The glove compartment of my car is empty, but one of these days, I’m going to fill it with an assortment of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I always wear gloves, so at any moment I could commit a crime and not be worried about fingerprints. Plus, it saves… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you don’t know what love feels like, you’re in luck, because I just finished making a new pair of Love Gloves.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve been meaning to go shopping for boxing gloves, but I’ve been putting it off. I just need to knock it out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
