I love you mommy. 'I don't have any money, try your dad.' I love you daddy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teach what is inside you. Not as it applies to you, to yourself, but as it applies to the other. — Tirumalai Krishnamacharya Copy Share Image
“Man, Grandma, what big hair you have." "The better to style with, my dear.” — Neal Shusterman Copy Share Image
I never did standup before. It just looked like it was really hard, looked like there was like up days and down… — Kenan Thompson Copy Share Image
“Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife” — Ruth Downie Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a husband can determine when his wife comes to the end of one argument and begins the next; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“You know, one time I saw Tiger down at the water hole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Oh here's a nice one, he brown recluse spider. This once resides in wooded areas. In other words, next to my head… — Yvonne Prinz Copy Share Image
People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
There are plenty of people I've seen and thought that person is funny, or that person is really talented, and they've got… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
Me and Skepta, we're kind of from the same world but have totally different-sounding albums. That's why I get funny sometimes when… — Kano Copy Share Image
