Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farmhouse and asked… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session. — Gib Lewis Copy Share Image
The tires are called wets, because they're used in the wet. And these tires are called slicks, because they're very slick. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
“Pretty much all women who wear pantsuits are evil. Kat's head tipped to the side. Okay. I do have to agree with… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“The drivers here are horrible. And by horrible, I mean they don't realize I have someplace to be.” — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
If lesbians aren't attracted to men, why are they attracted to women that look like men? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“sometimes when everything seems at its worst when all conspires and gnaws and the hours, days, weeks years seem wasted – stretched… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal'… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Note to self: If you do not know how to spell a big scary spiders name, DO NOT look it up on… — Becky Eisele Copy Share Image
I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“That awkward moment when you jump out a window because your friend jumped out a window, then you remember that your other… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
