Funny Quotes · Page 135

Beginnings are apt to be shadowy.

— Rachel Carson

The day spider fly is the day I live on the moon.

— Kyle

In other news: I have my underwear on backwards.

— Green Monk

Not now, or not there, or too much, or not at all.

— Lyndon B. Johnson

The will is deaf and hears no heedful friends.

— William Shakespeare

Im pretty sure that everybodys hero is Gannicus

— Liam McIntyre

I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I’m not 'aw shucks'. Because I'm gnarly.

— Charlie Sheen

You dont have to be crazy to hang out with me. Ill train you. Make your appointment today.

— Nate

It seems farther away now because there are no rockets getting there. Nobody is going.

— Alan Bean

The painting rises from the brushstrokes as a poem rises from the words. The meaning comes later.

— Joan Miro

Earlier I used to feel like a guy trapped inside a woman's body. Especially during the first nine months.

— Nikhil Saluja

“In spite of being complicated people choose superstitions over common sense.”

— Amit Kalantri

When you see # happiness in the happiness of others, that's when you will be truly happy.

— Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, OMG! My yard is on fire!

— Anonymous

Why didnt the flasher retire? He decided to stick it out for one more year.

— Anonymous

“I guess it was what my friend Phoolendu at the yoga studio would call kismet. That's like fate, but much more dramatic.”

— Robin Palmer

Vince McMahon said to Triple H, 'Are you sure he's a heel? I don't know. He's funny.' He decided he wanted me…

— Tyrus

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the…

— Bill Bailey

“I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil. Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister,…

— Ellen Hopkins

Even though I never worked with her, it was still really cool to have Brooke Shields on set. She was so nice…

— Atticus Shaffer

I started in theatre, moved into film and television, and started doing voice work, which is funny because after a long time…

— Linda Cardellini

If a boy gives a love letter to a girl, people call him LOAFER But if a gal gives a letter 2a…

— Sadie

That awkward moment when You find out your teacher is pregnant... its like, woah, you actually have a life? And a husband?…

— Anonymous

Without the confidence, nothing can be accomplished.

— Sathya Sai Baba

I never tried to act until A Place in the Sun.

— Elizabeth Taylor

I sit with Shakespeare and he winces not.

— W. E. B. Du Bois

I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.

— Rodney Dangerfield

The I is always in the field of the Other.

— Jacques Lacan

Effective magic is transcendent nature.

— George Eliot

Anywhere I can be with my family

— Jared Padalecki

It is the busiest man who has time to spare.

— C. Northcote Parkinson

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

— Nikhil Saluja

~Paco sad:( but make funny face:)~

— Paco

Amusing and perfectly self-conscious charlatans.

— Noam Chomsky

“Having friends is how your life gets fucked up.”

— Jesse Andrews

The most powerful music is music with purpose.

— Tom Morello

Sometimes I think if this life is really gonna end.

— Alex

Governments are not representative.

— Noam Chomsky

We must do that which we think we cannot.

— Eleanor Roosevelt