“I need to go to the grocery store because I’ve got nothing in my fridge but an old t-shirt, a pair of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I keep the ketchup in the fridge, though from now on I’m going to keep in the bottle. Less messy, I figure.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A shiny metallic fridge is like a mini skyscraper. And the guy in my fridge, he’s like the janitor of the skyscraper.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I keep my love in the fridge, next to my meat, because you simply can’t beat it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I put tin foil on our relationship and stuck it in the fridge, because it needed to cool down a bit.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
