“To find my mistakes, you’re going to need a shovel—and a missing person’s list.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“After my first coaching experience, the field looked more like Gettysburg than a normal defeat. But it wasn’t that bad, as only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d rather fail to try than try and fail. But, then, I am a coward who votes with my wallet, which is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. Still, I’d gladly make the same mistake tonight… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Music enters through the ear, not the penis hole. This is probably a common mistake most deaf men make.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We couldn’t make love, unfortunately, because she was dead. I didn’t kill her, if that’s what you’re wondering. She died long before… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have failed, and I should bury my failure. I need a trowel (it was a small failure).” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m more terrified of failure than rejection—so I’ll no my way to YES!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it up with kids. Big… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The only reason I didn’t feel like a complete fool was because the failure left me feeling incomplete.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When love dissipates, it’s like dancing with daisies at midnight, and you don’t get easy at it when you’re deceased. And make… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made a mistake, but I didn’t beat myself up about it. No, I beat up my clone. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“So you made a mistake. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Let me beat you up instead.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Words failed me at the precise moment I thought I was passing my vocabulary test, and I can’t tell you how that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The pros and cons of being a criminal: Pros—are cons that haven’t been caught. Cons—are former pros that made a mistake.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My first coaching experience led to a 77-0 defeat. But that’s not so bad, considering I taught the team one important thing:… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What you’d call stealing, I’d call a mistake. Or, if I were a politician, I’d call it an opportunity, and my privilege.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Having a good life doesn’t mean nothing bad happens. It means using sadness and setback as mechanisms for spiritual growth. That’s the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We all make mistakes. Some just manufacture them in a factory and sell them to the public.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was so focused on my mistake that I made another mistake during the correction of the initial mistake.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To fly is to swim in the air, and a brick could be used as an as example to highlight man’s failure… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
