“If writers write, then rangers range. And I’d like to wake up every morning and be a mother, so I could eat… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wish I had a crystal bowl to see into the future with. Every morning I would eat my cereal out of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Every morning I think: What’s the latest I can sleep in ‘til, and still be on time for work? Well, I used… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Every morning I cheer on my Cheerios, but I don’t really want them to win. Secretly I’m trying to drown them and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I feel sad, I try to think of someone else in the world who is suffering worse than me. Like someone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“After years of searching, I finally found love. I found it in the unlikeliest of places: My best friend’s bed, right after… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
