“I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Cats are the best. They don’t need haircuts, and they love to cuddle, unlike certain celebrities who’ve issued restraining orders against me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My workout partner is a cat. We nap together. He spots me a place, and keeps it warm, and then as soon… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a cuddle partner. Just glue some fur on it and voila! It’s as good as snuggling… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Drinks heavily loaded with ice are reasonably effective, but the best way to cool down is to cuddle with a recently deceased… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
