People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Let me get a sip of water here...you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don't care, I drink it… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't care much about the outcome. I'd like for people to feel better and have better lives, but I don't think… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm not in show business because I don't have to go to the meetings, I'm just not a part of it, I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. It's a big club and you ain't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Sometimes, after I'd gone at the coke like one of those snow plows moving up First Avenue, I'd think my heart was… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
