People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Beauty Copy Share Image
I had a feeling that someone was following me around all day, then I figured out that it was just my butt! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Rumors are a lot like buttcheeks because once you spread them, someone's ass is about to get hurt. — Nikhil Saluja Rumor Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BEST INVENTION EVER: the Fast Forward Button. Without it we would be stuck watching the first two minutes of porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women live longer than men. I am not surprised, I mean they're not the ones living with women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
There are 2 reasons why we dont trust people: 1. We dont know them. 2. We do know them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pro-gas-ti-na-tion¦ Waiting to fill up your tank while hoping the gas prices will actually go down. — Nikhil Saluja Climate Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The continuous process of getting used to things you never expected; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let's have a moment of silence for Bill Gates. Without him we'd still have to leave the house and interact with people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six… — Nikhil Saluja Medicine Copy Share Image
I like to 69* *cut my sandwiches diagonally then eat them at the same time — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
Lost in words, hidden in lies, memories forgotten, silent goodbyes. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
My friend just told me indirectly that I wasn't human. He was like all humans make mistakes :( — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Dating your exes again are just like shopping at your own garage sale. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me: I think I could make you very happy She: Why? Are you leaving? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When gays hack into their boyfriend's Facebook account, do they change the status to, I'M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE EATING PUSSY!? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Some hoes only meet the parents because they gotta walk pass the living room. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Can a mother get pregnant while nursing? Yes, but it's easier if she puts the baby to bed first! — Nikhil Saluja Baby Copy Share Image
TV shows are great when your getting a blowjob. It gives you something to look forward to. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To all men who read poetry; I bet if women had dicks, they'd shove them in your mouths to shut you the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply by 5. Divide by 2. Close your eyes... Dark isn't it? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I'm not having sex I like jacking off, it really cums-in-handy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girls mouth is like a couch, once your dick gets in it, it becomes real fucking cumfy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I always save the phone numbers of the people I don't like. Makes it easier to ignore their phone calls. — Nikhil Saluja Phone calls Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Child Copy Share Image
I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Ladies, As long as you're good looking & decent in bed, you can act as crazy as you want. We men won't care. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In case you're wondering, last night I had a dream that my penis got chronically depressed and decided to commit suicide. — Nikhil Saluja Depressed Copy Share Image
If you didn't learn the lesson from your first scar, sadly you deserve the second one. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you ever think about committing suicide, remember that's an awful way to go. DM me and I'll take care of it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
