A Woman Never Say: I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby sitter Tracy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
A nonsense chat makes sense when you are talking with someone special, — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Happiness Copy Share Image
Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family. — Nikhil Saluja Blood is thicker than water Copy Share Image
I just met this guy accidently who unfollowed me a few days ago. Not sure why he's on the floor without a… — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
If we put half the effort in coming up with a cure for cancer as we do with good tweets we would… — Nikhil Saluja Cancer Copy Share Image
Do not cry for those who hurt you, this way you're making them successful, smile and be the winner. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Cellphones are like a dog's nipples. You don't have to shout into them! — Nikhil Saluja Cellphones Copy Share Image
If you follow a celebrity parody account on Twitter and you think it's the real person, you're a fucking moron. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitters really just about tweeting dope shit and making girls you never met dream about you. — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
Anger is such a wasted emotion. Half of the people you are angry with don't know it and the other half don't… — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
Last night, my wife asked if I could make a dinner for a change. I'm glad she has such a good sense… — Nikhil Saluja Change Copy Share Image
No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What a beautiful day to walk around my city, staring at my phone. — Nikhil Saluja Beautiful day Copy Share Image
Yeah forgiving someone is easy but being able to trust them again is a totally different story. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People who quote-unquote themselves when talking with their fingers can go fuck themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Leaving hairs on a toilet seat is like a little gift, from one ass to another. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never lend a book to someone who don't know how to read, never give your heart to someone that don't know how… — Nikhil Saluja Book Copy Share Image
Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions on the website. You understand nothing still you say I agree... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is only compatible when the man makes a living and his wife makes living worthwhile; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If opportunity had a twitter account, it's not going to be knocking on anyone's door anytime soon. — Nikhil Saluja Opportunity Copy Share Image
LOVE, A situation which happens when you think almost as much of another as you do of yourself; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been in love with the same woman for 10 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me! — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
I'm not starting over with someone new, I wanna work it out with who I'm in love with. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. — Nikhil Saluja Vegetarian Copy Share Image
Beautician: the official occupation of the 'I wear too much make-up fat girl'. — Nikhil Saluja Career Copy Share Image
If someone doesn't like me, that's fine. It just means one less person I have to be nice to. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I feel the tears slowly rolling down my eyes and suddenly the tears wont stop. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm like an onion, I have so many layers. Also people around me seem to cry a lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when I smile at my phone and raise my head and my girlfriend thinks I'm smiling at her. — Nikhil Saluja Smiling Copy Share Image
If I make sure I keep my eyes open during the shower, the guy with a chainsaw behind the shower curtain won't… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was just about to get up and do something useful with my life but then I read a motivational tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
She watch Titanic for the love story. I watch it for one scene with boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
Keep her laughing. Keep her smiling. Make your woman glow so her friends notice. — Nikhil Saluja Friendship Copy Share Image
