Sometimes a lady wants to be woken up with a face between her legs... — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Just had some great sex! My wife kept screaming for me to stop, but I couldn't hear her over her sister's moaning. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I finally found it: Facebook is the family den. Twitter is the shed out back. — Nikhil Saluja Family Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch porno's again? — Nikhil Saluja Porno Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Beauty Copy Share Image
I had a feeling that someone was following me around all day, then I figured out that it was just my butt! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Rumors are a lot like buttcheeks because once you spread them, someone's ass is about to get hurt. — Nikhil Saluja Rumor Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BEST INVENTION EVER: the Fast Forward Button. Without it we would be stuck watching the first two minutes of porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women live longer than men. I am not surprised, I mean they're not the ones living with women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pro-gas-ti-na-tion¦ Waiting to fill up your tank while hoping the gas prices will actually go down. — Nikhil Saluja Climate Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
There are 2 reasons why we dont trust people: 1. We dont know them. 2. We do know them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The continuous process of getting used to things you never expected; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let's have a moment of silence for Bill Gates. Without him we'd still have to leave the house and interact with people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six… — Nikhil Saluja Medicine Copy Share Image
I like to 69* *cut my sandwiches diagonally then eat them at the same time — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just because I succeed where you fail doesn't mean I'm better than you, It just means YOU SUCK! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hole (noun) : When a mouse laughs at a cat, there is a hole nearby. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Walked into the restroom right after Jesus took a dump. All I can say is HOLY SHIT! — Nikhil Saluja Jesus Copy Share Image
Ladies, if a guy sticks his thumb in your ass durning doggystyle, don't get mad, we're just giving you a thumbs up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I'm not having sex I like jacking off, it really cums-in-handy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girls mouth is like a couch, once your dick gets in it, it becomes real fucking cumfy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I always save the phone numbers of the people I don't like. Makes it easier to ignore their phone calls. — Nikhil Saluja Phone calls Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Child Copy Share Image
Ladies, As long as you're good looking & decent in bed, you can act as crazy as you want. We men won't care. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you didn't learn the lesson from your first scar, sadly you deserve the second one. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In case you're wondering, last night I had a dream that my penis got chronically depressed and decided to commit suicide. — Nikhil Saluja Depressed Copy Share Image
If you ever think about committing suicide, remember that's an awful way to go. DM me and I'll take care of it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Brother Copy Share Image
