If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Brother Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just because I succeed where you fail doesn't mean I'm better than you, It just means YOU SUCK! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hole (noun) : When a mouse laughs at a cat, there is a hole nearby. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, if a guy sticks his thumb in your ass durning doggystyle, don't get mad, we're just giving you a thumbs up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Walked into the restroom right after Jesus took a dump. All I can say is HOLY SHIT! — Nikhil Saluja Jesus Copy Share Image
Ways of Life : A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out. — Nikhil Saluja Growth Copy Share Image
On the Internet you can be whatever you want! I mean, besides successful. — Nikhil Saluja Internet Copy Share Image
If she smokes cigarettes she probably has the voice of a villain. — Nikhil Saluja Villain Copy Share Image
Want to know who to blame for all of your misfortunes? YOURSELF! Quit blaming everyone for the drama you create in your… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl calling another girl a slut is like a retweet but in real life, because you just gave her a shitload… — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The best pictures are always taken when you don't know your being pictured. — Nikhil Saluja Photography Copy Share Image
Wait, are you telling me 'professional tweeter' can't go in my CV? Well this was a waste of time. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
If we ever get into war, only the children must evacuate. Women must fight like the equals they are! — Nikhil Saluja Evacuate Copy Share Image
The weirdest thing just happened. I passed by a group of girls who weren't talking about other girls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Suicide is never the answer. Unless the question is How do I cover up a murder? — Nikhil Saluja Murder Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you are a failure¦¦ it does mean you havent succeeded yet! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The only time I enjoy listening to people complain is when I have my earphones on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Short & sweet line¦EMPTY POCKET and HUNGRY STOMACH teaches million things in LIFE¦! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wheres the best place for a man to put his checkbook? In his purse right next to his tampons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't need to control my anger. Everybody around me needs to control their habit of pissing me the fuck off. — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
If women had to give a blowjob every time they said something bad, there would be no more obese women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Car keys Copy Share Image
Never let your Ladys mind wonder. its too little to be out on its own — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Women are like coconuts. Sometimes you have to hit them really fucking hard before they will spread open. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I usually try not to sound like an idiot but it's really hard because I am an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. Rehab is for quitters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If she's retweeted you twice in one day, she's pictured what your kids would look like. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
Disclaimer : Twitter is purely entertainment...it's not to be taken seriously. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
Someone just stopped me to say that he recognized me from twitter and now I'm writing my suicide note. — Nikhil Saluja Suicide Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Attitude Copy Share Image
