“You really are a pain in the ass,” he laughs. I swat him playfully, laughing too as a single tear rolls down… — Kandi Steiner Copy Share Image
“I must have wanton Poets, pleasant wits, Musitians, that with touching of a string May draw the pliant king which way I… — Christopher Marlowe Copy Share Image
I think shows that are completely dramatic are a lie. People use humor to cope. That is how we deal with things.… — Jenji Kohan Copy Share Image
“I am asking Scribners to insert as a subtitle in everything after the eighth printing THE SUN ALSO RISES (LIKE YOUR COCK… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry, but -I'm sorry !' I yelped and skipped backward as Gorg advanced on me. 'You were given bad information. Probably… — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
“I recall the story of the philosopher and the theologian... The two were engaged in disputation and the theologian used the old… — Julian Huxley Copy Share Image
“The CIA currently has in custody two FBI agents and a Boston police detective who is demanding they pay for the damage… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
“And private in his chamber pens himself, Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out, And makes himself an artificial night. Black… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“That was some powerful shit. Like mind and pussy-numbing, fuckilepsy inducing, reproductive organ-exploding powerful. You really are some kind of flogger wielding… — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
“They used to say, "A penny for your thoughts". I have heard that zombies will pay up to $5 a pound for… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“Is what true?” I replied. I drew out the words. Only the sounds of the horses’ hooves striking the dry, packed ground… — L. R. W. Lee Copy Share Image
I have a funny sense of humor. If I was a comedian and I was up on stage, people would think that's… — Lil B Copy Share Image
“You like a cracker? What kind of cracker? Graham, chocolate, cocoanut, whatever you want. Maybe just a plain cracker. I don't have… — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“He bowed jokingly, and everyone laughed as Mrs.Anderson shook her head. "Did you even read the material?" "of course I did." "Who… — J.M. Darhower Copy Share Image
“I realized that I was okay with myself. I was quirky and withdrawn and loud, but I liked that. I smiled at… — Anna White Copy Share Image
Too many times, adults walk into situations, and people have already put them in a box: 'Oh, you write comedy.' Or, 'You're… — Anne Sweeney Copy Share Image
“I grabbed a robe and a fireplace poker and headed down the stairs at a snail's pace. I was sure I loved… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
“Bertrand Russell declared that, in case he met God, he would say to Him, "Sir, you did not give us enough information."… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
The English reputation for humour is a way by which people avoid revealing themselves and have superficial relationships, so that you can… — Theodore Zeldin Copy Share Image
Why, on my mother's birthday, am I thinking about 'Father Knows Best?' At our house, mother knew best at least as often… — Tom Shales Copy Share Image
It always interested me that 'Goodness Gracious Me' and 'The Kumars,' when shown around the world, were referred to as British comedy.… — Sanjeev Bhaskar Copy Share Image
“How long till you get her?" "Not long," she says. "Not long at all." He sighs again. "Good." "But dad?" "Yeah?" "Can… — Jennifer E. Smith Copy Share Image
People like to have fun and they like to laugh. And when you laugh, it's much easier to convince people and they… — Mechai Viravaidya Copy Share Image
The style is the man. Rather say the style is the way the man takes himself; and to be at all charming… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
“She shocks the hell out of me when she asks, "Did you get engaged, Jade? She looks at me seriously. It's really… — Jillian Dodd Copy Share Image
“A good communist,” the man had said, “does not let go of the plough halfway across the paddy and leave the buffalo… — Colin Cotterill Copy Share Image
“Suspended for fighting. It had a ring. Not simply suspended, which could be for any number of inane infractions from skipping algebra… — Bob Flaherty Copy Share Image
“One would think that since Hamilton and Eliza only just got married, our mothers would be satisfied for a while, but instead… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
The Beatles defined their own sense of values and honor. They took stances without ever being politically correct. And they did it… — Sophie B. Hawkins Copy Share Image
Comedy films never die, all they need is a good script instead of merely relying on humour. That said, I would love… — Suraj Venjaramood Copy Share Image
Whence comes this idea that if what we are doing is fun, it can't be God's will? The God who made giraffes,… — Catherine Marshall Copy Share Image
We are not actually in charge of life, yet behave as if we are the masters of our own destiny. The realization… — Billy Childish Copy Share Image
She who ne'er answers till a husband cools, Or, if she rules him, never shows she rules; Charms by accepting, by submitting,… — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
“This social worker lassie turns round n gies us a stroppy look. Ah jist smiles bit she looked away aw fuckin nippy… — Irvine Welsh Copy Share Image
“I hope this book will inspire the kitchen con-artist in you, increase fruit and veggie consumption in your family, and motivate you… — Merrin McGregor Copy Share Image
“I be dog if hit don't look like sometimes that when a fellow sets out to play a joke, hit ain't another… — William Faulkner Copy Share Image
“Just one more line, please. I'll do anything. And I mean anything." "Good, we've got him hooked," said Ryan. "It won't be… — Aiden Shaw Copy Share Image
“From an illustration in her "Animals of a Bygone Era": a Leptictidium, an extinct rabbit-like animal who left no descendants, says: "Too… — Maja Säfström Copy Share Image
