“Don't love the person by seeing their success, instead of love the person by observing their good behavior, character, personality, nature, disposition,… — Z.H.Choudhury Copy Share Image
“I think it would be funny to have one of those family decals showing a really skinny teenage girl barfing into a… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
“She snores, she talks too god damn much, and she tries to cuddle.” John visibly shivers at that, so I nod and… — Katelin LaMontagne Copy Share Image
“It's all the rage. Billionaire Doms. Kink. All that stuff. But they just like the fantasy of it. Tie a girl up… — C.M. Owens Copy Share Image
“… A wonderful collection of truths, and almost all are inconvenient’. ‘… Something here to offend everyone’. ‘… Everything from burlesque to… — Patrick Brislan Copy Share Image
“What was it you called me? Hell’s overlord who wields his lucky pen like it’s… what was that last part?” Enough! Elise’s… — Elijana Kindel Copy Share Image
“I used to ask myself, ‘Sergei, would you rather spend your money on drink or women?’ and thanks to the club, I… — Melika Dannese Lux Copy Share Image
“Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say no when they mean yes, and drive a man out… — Louisa May Alcott Copy Share Image
“Do you come here often?' I ask. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I cringe. Way to go,… — Mila Gray Copy Share Image
“CREONTA: Rope! My rope! Hang those two thieves by the neck until they are dead. THE ROPE: Alack, but vile and ill-natured… — Hillary DePiano Copy Share Image
“I'm running late, but there's always time to scribble weird messages in guest signage books. Also, am I really late? The Catholic… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m not interested in teaching books by women... Usually at the beginning of the semester a hand shoots up and someone asks… — David Gilmour Copy Share Image
I love comedy. There's just something so great about making people laugh. And for me, too, whenever I laugh, it just makes… — Stefanie Scott Copy Share Image
“I wondered if full-blooded vampires had something like blue balls for their fangs if they didn’t get to feed when they were… — Sierra Dean Copy Share Image
At the same time, we can't blame comedians for taking time to learn. Any critic of comedy who believes that he has… — Guy Branum Copy Share Image
Don't take yourself too seriously. It just makes life all the harder. It'll all come out in the wash anyway, because God's… — Luci Swindoll Copy Share Image
“When we were kids the coolest dinosaur in world was the brontosaurus, which means 'THUNDERLIZARD'. But it turns out brontosaurs isn't even… — John Green Copy Share Image
“I had concocted the gunpowder myself from niter, sulfur, charcoal, and a happy heart. When working with explosives, I've found that attitude… — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
“You love SITUATION COMEDIES, whilst holding particular affection for MUSTACHIOED FUNNYMEN. You know, your FOXWORTHIES, your FUNKES, your SWANSONS, but not necessarily… — Andrew Hussie Copy Share Image
“What? It’s not my blood!” “Let me see it,” Julian demanded, and a moment later there were sounds of a scuffle from… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I am a standup comedian who has performed comedy in the Middle East in front of thousands of Muslims. And believe it… — Maz Jobrani Copy Share Image
There is no essential difference between the material of comedy and tragedy. All depends on the point of view of the dramatist,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I focused the power from my armor into my leg and kicked the door in. The metal and plastic fibers splintered and… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
“There are lots of things that never go by rule, There’s a powerful pile o’ knowledge That you never get at college,… — L.M. Montgomery Copy Share Image
“I’d like to THANK the genius who saw a bunch of cherries and thought…HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those… — Comic Strip Mama Copy Share Image
“It had taken him by surprise when the bride had asked him. Why would she want him in her wedding? And that’s… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
Woody Allen's sense of humour has always attracted me, and I love the way he can make life so meaningful and yet… — Kalki Koechlin Copy Share Image
“Doing nothing sometimes hurts more than doing something. Life doesn't come with a guarantee, which is just as well, because most guarantees… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
“Merry has just found her bio dad Sly and is meeting him for the first time (as her dad) and her beau… — Ashlyn Chase Copy Share Image
“Cole: " There's the old Nik. No 'how do you do', no talk of the weather. Just a good swift kick to… — Brodi Ashton Copy Share Image
“And before any Christian readers get all offended - relax. I'm not saying that I'm the new Jesus. I'm just saying there's… — Danny Wallace Copy Share Image
If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter… — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
It is commonly said that ridicule is the best test of truth; for that it will not stick where it is not… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
“Am I dead? Is this heaven? No, I can't be. I'm realizing this as I process my second sensation: discomfort. I turn… — Karen Bergreen Copy Share Image
I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
“You’ve got her mad now and there’s no turning back. All she has to do is go to the authorities, saying you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You know, this isn’t how I imagined meeting Sophie’s first real boyfriend.” “Mom.” Archer gave me a little squeeze. “You mean I’m… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
