“She. Spoke. To. Him. First. It was like winning the lottery, getting laid, and climbing the highest cliff all rolled into one.… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Try 'Thank-you'," Ted said, giving me a hug (with the requirement of pounding me fraternally on the back - the only way… — Blake Petit Copy Share Image
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Wait. Are you saying what I think you're saying?' 'Ye-es.' Now that I had spilled the beans I could take on the… — André Aciman Copy Share Image
You know, if I started worrying about what the critics think, I'd never make another comedy. You couldn't pick a less funny… — Todd Phillips Copy Share Image
I was ballet dancing at four, playing piano by six, and doing commercials by 12. When I was 21, I was on… — Roselyn Sanchez Copy Share Image
When I was 14, I told my mother I was going to drop out of high school and go do stand-up comedy.… — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
“Fear and shame are the backbone of my self-control. They are my source of inspiration, my insurance against becoming entirely unacceptable. They… — Allie Brosh Copy Share Image
“They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“It is customary to have vampires in stories nowadays - they are quite the norm, just like wicked stepmothers used to be.… — Jane De Suza Copy Share Image
A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
“There's a reason why most men don't read romance: Romance novels are wish-fulfillment for women. The fictitious men in romance novels fall… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“When I am alone, my table manners are rather piggish, but i suppose that's because I don't eat at a table, I… — Kelli Jae Baeli Copy Share Image
“I say, sah! Sorry to trouble you to get off your big fat bottom and help a poor gel out!" "I would… — Brian Jacques Copy Share Image
I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs… — Joan Bauer Copy Share Image
“For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
People come up to me as I leave the stage after a performance and tell me tey saw my mother onstage with… — Lorna Luft Copy Share Image
A man who fails is funny... if my sketches teach anything, it is that, for the male, sex is a snare and… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
A husband and wife should resolve never to wrangle with each other; never to bandy words or indulge in the least ill-humour.… — Timothy Shay Arthur Copy Share Image
“Can you…make it different this time?” “Different, how?” “Different position, different…something. I want to learn it all.” Whoa, pressure. When Maira’s genius… — Alisha Rai Copy Share Image
“I could use you—if you pass the tests, of course. There are three of them. You have passed the first." "What are… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Rachel had decided he WAS handsome during their hike to the camp. Though the way he kept telling her to speak more… — Teri Hall Copy Share Image
“Ransom really looked at the other man for the first time, shook his head, stared again. “Holy hell, your eyes are like… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
I am not a politician going around bragging about family values or putting myself on some ridiculous virtuous pedestal. I write comedy.… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
“Untuck your shirt, wipe, retuck. No one will see. Otherwise they’re gonna crust on your hand like wood glue.” This is Booger… — Mick Bogerman Copy Share Image
All it takes is a teaspoon of humor, a tablespoon full of confidence, a scoop of perseverance and a full glass of… — Rizzi Vicci Copy Share Image
“The burn unit is often the most distant wing of a hospital, because burn victims are so susceptible to infection that they… — Andrew Davidson Copy Share Image
I do also think it eludes genre a bit - not in any groundbreaking way but you can't quite call it a… — Colin Firth Copy Share Image
I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts… — Kate Beckinsale Copy Share Image
I love watching action films, and especially the little moments of wit and humor in the choreography in a lot of them.… — Susanna Fogel Copy Share Image
I knew how incredibly rich 'Valerian' was visually and the adventures the heroes go through. They are one of a kind. They… — Alexandre Desplat Copy Share Image
“When I asked her what she'd thought of Pride and Prejudice, she only wondered aloud how anyone could have written a novel… — Michelle Cooper Copy Share Image
“Imogene Duckworthy did not like pigs. She was fairly fond of cattle, having grown up surrounded by them. She hadn't been around… — Kaye George Copy Share Image
Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the… — Ann Landers Copy Share Image
“This is a classic ploy familiar to revolutionary leaders throughout history: the failure of the revolution proves the need to radicalize it.… — Mark Lilla Copy Share Image
“Now that they had gotten wise, it took Adam no time at all to notice they were also naked. And once it… — Wendy Bertsch Copy Share Image
“My great-great grandfather and I were best of friends, although we never met. Fire and shipwreck orphan us – 140 years apart.… — Raji Singh Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
