“"Repeat that?" "It's National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Didn't you know?" "Somehow I missed the memo." "You mean, 'Somehow I missed… — Shannon Hale Copy Share Image
“It's me," a deep voice rumbled. The hands released me and I turned. There stood Derek, all six foot of him. Maybe… — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
“Honey, if the man is that dense, you can drag that cot he been sleepin' on into your room, nab his clothes,… — Karen Witemeyer Copy Share Image
“Probably the easiest way to explain [the situation] is to simply say that your proteins refuse to bend [to the zombie protein's… — Lia Habel Copy Share Image
“I change the channel to another movie. An old one, but new to me. And, ironically, a thin, gorgeous blonde—Meg Ryan, maybe—rides… — K.A. Barson Copy Share Image
“Guys won't admit it, but we're all obsessed with our biceps. I did three sets of ten reps, thirty-five pounds on each… — Carolyn Mackler Copy Share Image
“think of it.' said Robert Rosenbluth, a doctor whose acquaintance i made at the start of this book. 'no engineer could design… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight.… — Richard Roeper Copy Share Image
There's something outrageously funny about the bold-faced lying that's going on, in a general way. Just the blatant denial of facts, whether… — Matt Walsh Copy Share Image
I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“Jae Smith is Nightwatch and I have her! Ha! I know where she lives, where she hangs out, and her blood type!… — Amanda Lee Knauss Copy Share Image
“We run for an hour and a half?" "Five miles." "Every morning?" "Every morning." "Even Saturdays and Sunday." "Yes, but you don't… — Christine Manzari Copy Share Image
“Thank you,” she whispered, sending up a quick prayer for his continued recovery. “You’re welcome,” Marcus murmured. Honoria let out a little… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“Okay, okay, okay … go to your corners, boys. This is a nice Aubusson carpet you’re standing on. You get blood on… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
I'd love to do a comedy. Umm, I don't know when that will happen - maybe when I'm, like, 80 or something.… — Lena Headey Copy Share Image
I think that a sense of humor of an actor comes through most of the time. Maybe some actors have less than… — Isabelle Huppert Copy Share Image
“Wait.” Stefan’s voice was hard suddenly. Bonnie and Elena turned back and froze, embracing each other, trembling. “What is your—your father—going to… — L.J. Smith Copy Share Image
“But what would they have said to their Liaison? It’s like this, Meg. We didn’t like that Asia Crane, so we ate… — Anne Bishop Copy Share Image
“Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
To be honest with you, since 'Ocean's 11,' 'The Hangover' has become a movie that defines Vegas. Anybody in Vegas will tell… — Todd Phillips Copy Share Image
I loved that about her because I knew it would open the door for a lot of comedy, because I knew that… — Jenna Elfman Copy Share Image
You don't have to be inspired by comedians. You have to be inspired by things that are real, whether it's music, comedy...a… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got… — Katie Price Copy Share Image
The thing that I'm known for - at least, depending on what Subreddit you go to - is being a comedian. And… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
“You stand in front of an electric fence and whip your dick out to take a piss on it, it's pretty clear… — Justin Halpern Copy Share Image
The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been… — Brooks Atkinson Copy Share Image
“Not that she’d have a choice in the matter, but it made her feel a little better to pretend she would. To… — Stacia Kane Copy Share Image
I have always employed humor, and I think it’s absolutely crucial that we do because, among other things, humor is the only… — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
I was a business major at the University of Richmond, and after I graduated, I took a job at a corporate ad… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
“An international power supply is the device which means it doesn't matter what country you're in, or even if you know what… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I've been very fortunate. I've been in theater, films, television, radio, tragedy, comedy, farce - I've been in a musical and in… — Donald Sinden Copy Share Image
“Well, I have lost you; and I lost you fairly; In my own way, and with my full consent. Say what you… — Edna St. Vincent Millay Copy Share Image
I certainly do believe that a lot of comedy comes from awkwardness and embarrassment - pointing out the ways things are uncomfortable.… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
My dad's really funny. The male sense of humor - like my grandfather's and such - is pretty bizarre. Basically my dad's… — Kurt Vile Copy Share Image
I tried to have a cookie, and this girl said, "I'm mailing those cookies to my friend." So I couldn't have one.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
“New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Where do the scenes come from since space and time do not really exist? They come from somewhere, and where is that?… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image