“I went to say no, but I winced as I pulled my tooth out of my lip. I was absolutely hopeless. In… — Kaitlin Scott Copy Share Image
“If there were only any peace in Egypt I should like it better," said Mrs. Allerton. "But you can never be alone… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
“Death rode out, but found himself guiding the white horse down the track to the orchard. He stopped in front of one… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I've given up men. It's true. At first, I was just going to give up attorneys, but that seemed immature - and… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
My experience - and it might be just the kind of comedy that I do, which is usually sketch comedy - is… — Bob Odenkirk Copy Share Image
“She sipped the tonic. Her face puckered again. She gagged, covered her mouth and mumbled in disgust, "Oh my God!" "I said… — Devon Ashley Copy Share Image
“Lea stood upon a fallen log ahead of us, staring ahead. Mouse walked up to her. Gggrrrr rawf arrrgggrrrrarrrr," I said. Mouse… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“The following day I abandoned my pointless searching and planted myself in one of the open air-cafés where I drank coffee and… — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Once upon a time on a small, watery, excitable planet called Earth, in a small, watery, excitable country called Italy, a soft-spoken,… — Catherynne M. Valente Copy Share Image
“Yeah, Vi, unless Armageddon hit while i was fuckin' you this morning and we missed it, I'm thinkin' grocery stores still exist… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“Oh, blessed Domi!" the Aon exclaimed, approaching quickly. "Ashe!" she said, wiping her eyes with a quivering hand, numbed by shock. "You… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Is it physical To walk unbraced and suck up the humors Of the dank morning? What, is Brutus sick, And will he… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Sometimes you'll see people give performances in comedy with an ironic detachment where they'll sort of be remarking on the character from… — Zach Woods Copy Share Image
“I shouldn't have even been obsessing about it anyway, he probably had a girlfriend. Like a supermodel or playboy bunny or something,… — Kathey Gray Copy Share Image
Back in the late '90s, I put together a humorous newsmagazine program called 'The Awful Truth' for Bravo. We helped one guy… — Michael Moore Copy Share Image
“Is this a game? We just blurt out whatever word comes next to mind? In that case mine's 'genuphobia'. It means an… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“[An example of misattribution:] If you don’t know the source of a quote, you can always make it sound better by attributing… — Jakub Marian Copy Share Image
“It took me several minutes to persuade myself to watch the news. During which time I gave myself a stern talking to.… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on!… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My comedy isn't about being attractive - it's about how the bar of dumb seems so low right now, and I desperately… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
We just lost our electricity. You want to tell me what’s so funny about that?” “It’s not exactly funny. It’s more of… — Susan Elizabeth Phillips Copy Share Image
Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost as open about it as I am, and in some… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
The thing that still exists is that if it's at all possible for me to step outside the club after the show,… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
I like to make people laugh, and I definitely think laughter is healing. It's one of my favorite thing to do, so… — Kelly Stables Copy Share Image
“Mad! Quite mad!' said Stalky to the visitors, as one exhibiting strange beasts. 'Beetle reads an ass called Brownin', and M'Turk reads… — Rudyard Kipling Copy Share Image
“Don't you think men overrate the necessity for humoring everybody's nonsense, till they get despised by the very fools they humor?" said… — George Eliot Copy Share Image
There was a time when doing "Zoolander 2" that I was literally flying between the "Zoolander" shoot and "The Leftovers" in Texas… — Justin Theroux Copy Share Image
“Mr. St.— I mean, Mr. Da— I mean Damon,” she said, quickly standing. She banged her knee against her desk drawer and… — Jennifer Shirk Copy Share Image
The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
We have little bits of comedy throughout our films but this is like a full-on comedy. I had great time. It was… — Alex Kendrick Copy Share Image
They say you don't want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, because they do… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“Back in the days when gladiators hacked away at each other, there was always the man who decided whether the defeated should… — Gary Corby Copy Share Image
“Since I decided to buy an island and move there with my favorite volleyball,” Deacon shot back, watched his friend’s lips twitch,… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“Mia, I told you how I feel. I'm an asshole and I don't say or show how I feel very often, so… — Sadie Grubor Copy Share Image
I knew I just loved comedy, and I think it was my parents who initially brought up the notion of me trying… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
I went to a public high school and most of the comedy was coming from the black kids and the Asian kids… — Brett Ratner Copy Share Image
Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the… — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
“Piper: it looks like we have hole. Percy: Yeah we've got a dam hole! (LOL-ing) Piper: What! Percy: Inside joke. (still LOL-ing)… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
![“[An example of misattribution:] If you don’t know the source of a quote, you can always make it sound better by attributing it to me. — Mark Twain” quote by Jakub Marian](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/693/jakub-marian-49386_citation_an-example-of-misattribution-if-you-don_2281459.jpg)
