“Ling offered him the last slice of melon. “Sorry. I ate everything. I’m starving. I could eat a horse. And I love… — G.L. Breedon Copy Share Image
Some comics get drunk before a show. I don't. When I get drunk, I don't want to stand in front of a… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Did you know they call the tower the "Iron Lady"? Hmm. Isn't that Margaret Thatched called that, too? Frankly, they don't look… — Sheron Long Copy Share Image
“In my experience, the romance novels written about BDSM have about as much in common with actual BDSM relationships as a child… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Do you think Bubbles wants Chinese food because it's made out of cats?" Genevieve questioned, shoveling a big bite into her mouth.… — Ottilie Weber Copy Share Image
“If you send more than one news van to cover Dancing with the Stars , then you have to change your name… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“It's curling ribbon, but you don't have to curl it. You don't have to do everything the ribbon tells you to do.… — Dan Bergstein Copy Share Image
“It's really hard to be roomates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs--if yours are the really good ones… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
You just can't take yourself too seriously, especially in comedy. You shouldn't try to be funny, but you should try to be… — Paula Patton Copy Share Image
I have never yet figured out what to do about good advice that you get, and that you know right away would… — Holly Lisle Copy Share Image
“We are Nephilim; we fight our own battles." "That's not precisely true, is it?" said a velvety voice. It was Magnus Bane,… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
We kind of have a cranky side of ourselves, so when people get upset about what we're doing, we kind of feel… — Ron Mael Copy Share Image
“ Biology The film turns out to be about bees. It is a film about a bee center. How crap is this… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
Laurence Olivier said in an interview once that when he plays a tragedy he always aims for the funny parts, and the… — Christopher Walken Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry," I say. "About being a bit odd sometimes, at school." Camille shakes her head. "You really have to stop saying… — Matt Haig Copy Share Image
“Atop a Ferris wheel, Orson Welles told Joseph Cotten how Italy's thirty years of war and terror and bloodshed had produced the… — Kevin Wilson Copy Share Image
“Men need two things to operate their mouth, and neither are their brain,” she said. “And what are those?” Mrs. Larson inquired.… — J. Glen Percy Copy Share Image
Slice of life comedy is something which I enjoy more. These moments make you smile when you think about them. And these… — Shoojit Sircar Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“You know, in some cultures, when you save someone's life, you're then responsible for it." Allison thought about telling him she'd seen… — Elle Todd Copy Share Image
“You know, sometimes there’s absolutely nothing you can say about what you’ve been through, nothing. The whole trip is mind boggling. All… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Did the Ancient Greeks ever write anything funny—like slapstick? I mean, I think I speak for everyone when I say that there’s… — Elle Lothlorien Copy Share Image
“(…) my money guy Richard is going without a tie now, like a politician who wants to appeal to the suffering common… — Jess Walter Copy Share Image
“Belatedly, Clary recalled something. "I thought you guys said only some of the vampire bikes could fly?"...[Jace:]"Only some of them can!" "How… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Ukridge was the sort of man who asks you to dinner, borrows money from you to pay the bill, and winds up… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
I think, in comedy, you only hit about one or two great characters in your career. Sometimes my character will be just… — Julia Davis Copy Share Image
Many of the most successful men I have known have never grown up. They have retained bubbling-over boyishness. They have relished wit,… — B. C. Forbes Copy Share Image
“I’ll bet he misses it.” “Almost as much as I miss him being on the road.” She frowned. “You don’t really mean… — Maisey Yates Copy Share Image
“The smell slaps me sideways. Like when Mom grabs a container she forgot about from the back of the fridge and she… — Mick Bogerman Copy Share Image
A foreigner visiting the United States thought 'oakie doakie' was the feminine of 'O.K.' Of course, he was mistaken. The feminine of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Give me the knife!" Simon held out his hand. Lincoln glanced over as he struggled with Albert. "Could you take it out… — Scott Mebus Copy Share Image
“Cord followed up with, “I like it here, but it’s beginning to feel creepy. Does anyone else think it’s creepy?” “You’re talking… — Neal Stephenson Copy Share Image
“Sorry,ʺ she said, her face shining with joy when she saw me. ʺShould have put a sock on the door. Didnʹt realize… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Earwig said the village women know what to do,” said Annagramma hopefully. “She says to trust in their peasant wisdom.” “Well,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
As Aboriginal people we have always retained our resilience, our humour and our cultural integrity - we will always retain our dreams… — Ken Wyatt Copy Share Image
“On our last mission - our "final exam" - we were airlifted to a remote region, and we parachuted directly into a… — Mark Leyner Copy Share Image
You can't have a bad time at Disney World. It's not allowed. They have hidden electronic surveillance cameras everywhere, and if they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“New Rule: While you're telling me how your March Madness bracket is doing, you must also fill me in on your vacation… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A man is helping his wife make a password for the computer. He types in mypenis. The wife then starts laughing hysterically… — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
![“You just can't take yourself too seriously, especially in comedy. You shouldn't try to be funny, but you should try to be as honest as possible. The extreme end of honesty is usually what's funny. That's your job [as an actor]. You just have to let people see it.” quote by Paula Patton](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/2c0/paula-patton-11845_actors_you-just-can-t-take-yourself-too-serious_1600211.jpg)
![“Belatedly, Clary recalled something. "I thought you guys said only some of the vampire bikes could fly?"...[Jace:]"Only some of them can!" "How did you know this was one of them?" "I didn't!" he shouted gleefully...” quote by Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/e42/cassandra-clare-9_clary_belatedly-clary-recalled-something-i-tho_310056.jpg)
