“Dont ruin my balls!" She laughs as the words leave her mouth. Better yours than mine, chica." I toss the dough balls… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“He's got _go_, anyhow.' Certainly, he's got go,' said Gudrun. 'In fact I've never seen a man that showed signs of so… — D.H. Lawrence Copy Share Image
“I’d been called a freak, and worse, all through school. Now that I’d finally graduated, I was sick of it. I’d hoped… — E.J. Stevens Copy Share Image
“Don't blame a person for the wrongdoings; Both He and You are Homo-sapiens. Don't greet a person for the rightdoings; Try to… — Waqas Bin Ehsan Copy Share Image
“Find Your Funny Bone . . . Life provides plenty of material for things for you to laugh at. Seek irony, coincidence,… — Susan C. Young Copy Share Image
I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in the audience thinking, "Here's what I would say. Here's what… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“Must be weird for you, having your mom here." "Weird for me, weird for her, probably weird for you since you had… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“My name is Lilian Pnév̱ma, but you may call me Lilly, or anything else you would prefer. However, I would be particularly… — Brandon Varnell Copy Share Image
Last night I didn't realize I said "abortion" in my stand up comedy act instead of "circumcision." No wonder I got blank… — Ben Rosenfield Copy Share Image
“Farther down the riverbank sat a young man dressed all in white. He was the only person in sight. His hair was… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Well, you finally got me," Helen had whispered to him, tearfully, but Garp had sprawled there, on his back on the wrestling… — John Irving Copy Share Image
“Chill," Vicky says, as if such a thing were possible. Libby has never in her life been chilled; now seems an unlikely… — Claire Handscombe Copy Share Image
“I was surprised by the growl that wanted to well up in my throat… I told myself it was stress, not my… — Lia Habel Copy Share Image
I do not correct my first imaginings by my second--well, yes, perhaps a word or so, but only to vary, not to… — Michel de Montaigne Copy Share Image
“The back door popped open, and Claire, fairy wings all a-flutter, pulled Miranda inside. It was like a military operation, only with… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up. Of course,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The Devil, it is true, is not exactly a doctor who has taken degrees, but he is very learned, very expert for… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
“His head tilted to the side and humor twinkled in his dark eyes. "Turn yer back." 'Are you shy? What's wrong, big… — Vonnie Davis Copy Share Image
I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“But see? Then you got all human on me the other night, and it's official. I'm there, Henry. I'm...I'm ready for the… — Amy Lane Copy Share Image
If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the… — Robert Webb Copy Share Image
“I've already seen what you've got," Liz said, completely out of patience. "Now gimme my wine." "It's not that. I want to… — Kylie Gilmore Copy Share Image
“Grigorii spared a single glance in his brother’s direction. If looks were daggers, that one would’ve sliced straight through the volhv’s heart.… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I remember Johnny Carson laughing effusively when I made my 'Tonight' show debut in the early 1970's as part of a sketch… — Fred Willard Copy Share Image
“Lo!" I said. "I arrived at Camp Half-Blood as Lester Papadopoulos!" "A pathetic mortal!" Calypso chorused. "Most worthless of teens!" I glared… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor… — Catherine O'Hara Copy Share Image
“We drove out of New Paltz heading due north. Squeezed into my tiny hatchback, among our boxes and bags, were my dog,… — Kristin Kimball Copy Share Image
I'm going to do a lot of weird stuff that's not going to be like me prancing around like an insane 12-year-old.… — Andy Milonakis Copy Share Image
“You won’t be expecting forever, Annwyl. And once the twins are here, you’ll be as violently cruel and madly bloodthirsty as you… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Sugar Lips, you have a guest in the fourth dimension. I repeat, you have a guest in the fourth dimension. This is… — Jenny B. Jones Copy Share Image
I never consciously got into comedy. It was sort of one of those things where I was a theater student, I was… — Aasif Mandvi Copy Share Image
I like human comedies - or dramedies. More than anything, I'm interested in people just dealing with everyday things that are difficult,… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
“Every quote is like a Picasso. The meaning is different for each person and half the admirers miss the true intent and… — Shannon Alder Copy Share Image
I really believe if you give people a product that couples entertainment with a little bit of education, a soft glove and… — Judy Sheindlin Copy Share Image
London represents the idea that someone pulled away the set from my life and replaced it with another. 'Here is your new… — Tim Minchin Copy Share Image
I think, in a written novel, the way in which you play with the readers' emotion or the way in which you… — Salman Rushdie Copy Share Image
I find any sort of acting that doesn't have any humor in it is mind-numbingly boring. 'Serious acting' is the kind of… — Andrew Scott Copy Share Image
“When she shines we all bask in her happiness, but when the thunderstorms come in, let me warn you, find a faraway… — Suzanne Crowley Copy Share Image
