Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now. — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“My, my, aren't we upper class and therefore faultlessly grammatical.” — Sharon Green Copy Share Image
'Last Man Standing' is overall a lot of comedy. And I love doing that. — Kaitlyn Dever Copy Share Image
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter. — Yakov Smirnoff Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“Books are like a movie that makes you smarter and lasts for hours and doesn't run out of battery.” — Ranbowfut Copy Share Image
A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“Life is change, constant change, and unless we are lucky enough to find comedy in it, change is nearly always a drama,… — Mark T. Sullivan Copy Share Image
I love doing comedy, and I don't get a chance to much. I get to play lots of serious people and killers… — William Sadler Copy Share Image
One thing my family has shown me is that having a sense of humor is everything. — Zoey Deutch Copy Share Image
I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer. — Kelly Ripa Copy Share Image
“As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life: ~people applaud you incessantly.… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
“I asked you here today because the police department asked me to assess your mental health." I huffed and rolled my eyes.… — Devon Ashley Copy Share Image
“His books commingled democratically, united under the all-inclusive flag of Literature. Some were vertical, some horizontal, and some actually placed behind others.… — Anne Fadiman Copy Share Image
“It is worth noting that at this time, I had been doing Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live for two full seasons.… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don't do anything for an hour. Why do I need the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Jace rolled his eyes. “It’s fascinating,” he said. “You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Mizzenmast,” bellowed Caldris, and Locke and Jean both fetched up short, breathing heavily. “Ship doesn’t bloody have one,” said Locke. “Just foremast… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
A sign now of success with a certain audience when you do a short comedy piece, anywhere, is that it gets on… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
