Humor Quotes · Page 482

“Nothing like cleaning the whole house while my siblings sing "O Canada" - #oldestchildsyndrome.”

— Michelle N. Onuorah

My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point.

— Conan O'Brien

“Carla was wearing a No Fear sweatshirt. You are too old, Amy wanted to tell her, for legible clothing.”

— Jincy Willett

I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.

— Alan King

I think it would be hard to go the distance in this business without a sense of humor.

— Patricia Clarkson

“Oh! to shoot for the stars if feels right. Aim for my heart if it feels right.”

— Maroon 5

“You have a most pressing offer from the cable company…It is a time sensitive offer, you know. I thought you would be…

— Vicki Keire

“Some dumbass outside the reserve thinks you're wearing a butterfly on your arm, you'll get your ass kicked," Rafael said.”

— Rose Christo

“You can do this (this thing, where your body will cease to produce hormones and your skin, hair, muscles and bones... basically…

— Lisa Jey Davis

“...a woman's voice said, "if you've reached this message and you weren't trying to contact Regin the Radient" - Regin? -"then I…

— Kresley Cole

“A bridge. A big bridge with lots of traffic. You can’t be serious. I’ve almost killed us at least twice going up…

— Elle Klass

I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind…

— Mike Birbiglia

“You're a real cutie. I don't know who you are or who you belong to but while you're with me I'll give…

— Barbara Elsborg

I think romance is a tool, comedy is a tool and drama is a tool. I really just want to tell stories…

— Jason Reitman

Low gurgling laughter, as sweet As the swallow's song i' the South, And a ripple of dimples that, dancing, meet By the…

— Paul Hamilton Hayne

“That is the only way to get a kettle to boil up the river. If it sees that you are waiting for…

— Jerome K. Jerome

“She whipped her tentacles away from his fingers decapitating the dead lobster-dog and its body fell from the ceiling fan.”

— Athena Villaverde

I wasn't doing the comedy thing at all for six months. And it was just eating at my soul.

— Josh Blue

Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.

— Steve Martin

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.

— Dat Phan

I want to do literally everything. I think I was gifted... I inherited one of the best comedy visionaries as a director.

— Marlon Wayans

When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's…

— Frankie Boyle

“I can’t recommend the food at that place, because they wouldn’t let me eat.”

— Hunter S. Thompson

Well, you know, I think the American people are sacrificing now. I think they're waiting in airport lines longer than they've ever…

— George W. Bush

“I live in my mind, such that whatever destroys me shall be a creature of my own invention.”

— Genevieve Ross

“I couldn't see myself as some twenty-first century Shirley Valentine, sitting on the rocks, a thousand miles from the nearest Waterstones.”

— Anthony Horowitz

If you really look at me, eight out of ten films I have done is comedy. Humour is the safest bet.

— Arshad Warsi

I think horror comedies tend to skew more comedy than horror, for the most part.

— Elijah Wood

“Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game…

— Amy Alcott

“Kade usually found humor in the absurdities in life, because life itself was absurd.”

— Elizabeth C. Mock

I met someone who said they'd figured out my genre: "madcap redemption comedy." I'll buy that.

— Harold Ramis

“But...he's a demon. Isn't that sort of the main category of Things to Smite?”

— Bethany Frenette

“Kei: Is there anything else you need while I'm here, Your Highness? Cabot: No, but you can leave the sarcasm in there.”

— Stefne Miller

“Someone asked me when is my birthday? The poet inside me replied, "My birthday is on the last day of the year,…

— Anamika Mishra

“There was no doubt in my mind that Daemon believed revenge was a dish best served in my face.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

“Women want a lot of sex with the man they love; men want to have a lot of sex with a lot…

— Dermot Davis

The first thing I look for is the humor, because you can tell what the character's fears and insecurities are through the…

— Lusia Strus

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're…

— Daniel Tosh

I'm not funny. Never have been and, as far as I can tell, I never will be.

— David Dobkin