Humor Quotes · Page 417

I've done a lot of drama, and comedy was the one genre I was not being offered. So I became obsessive about…

— Rachel Weisz

In 'Sugar' I'll be singing in every episode and I'll be acting and doing comedy. It's ideal for me if it works.

— Barbi Benton

Really I'm a fan of any movie, whether it's suspense, action, or comedy - anything that has a good story.

— Scott Eastwood

I've been lucky enough to play some funny, nasty ladies in my day, and if you can make them foolish, they're even…

— Kelly Bishop

American humor ... is not subtle. It is something that makes you laugh the moment you hear it, you have not to…

— Elinor Glyn

I think 'Country Girl' is one song that can veer into country or hip-hop or rap. You can listen to it and…

— Luke Bryan

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

— Tina Fey

I grew up in Singapore, and I went to Australia for law school, and after law school, I started doing stand-up comedy.

— Ronny Chieng

“I'm the bathroom master I'm a real bowl blaster Don't mess with me 'Cause I can mess it up faster With just…

— R.U. Slime

“The next morning I had Twentieth-Century American Poetry at MCC. This old woman gave a lecture wherein she managed to talk for…

— John Green

“My alarm goes off at 5:50 a.m. First thing I do is check to make sure I'm not dead. If I am,…

— Samantha Irby

“Somehow she had climbed halfway up his body before he managed to grasp her waist. He plucked her off and set her…

— Thea Harrison

“I don't get it. Basketball is so supremely boring. I can't understand the point of watching ten giants running from one end…

— Carter Quinn

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well...…

— Kristen Schaal

Both my comedy partner, Steve Punt - who grew up in Reigate and is the son of a civil servant - and…

— Hugh Dennis

“[Hades] returned his attention to the playlist while I eased the car back on the road. His fingers flipped deftly over the…

— Kaitlin Bevis

I think the combination of action and the combination of comedy are two really, really good genres to meld together.

— Neal H. Moritz

“Yes. And also, if it's okay by you, I'd like to shut up now... Or possibly just go somewhere and swallow my…

— Lesley Livingston

“Death can come slow. Death can come quick. If you've got one last breath, you better make the most of it.”

— A.H. Scott

“Some folks say that you can’t get rid of a problem until you shuck it. So, brother, let’s start shucking.”

— Richard Puz

I can't help but wonder what would happen if I removed the USB before my device was ready...

— Anonymous

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

— Natasha Leggero

I think proteins are really good for your brain. And your brain is where comedy comes from.

— Carrie Brownstein

“If you can love cats, you can love human beings, because you have to be able to love them without getting them…

— Chris Kelly

“If you can't be a good example then you'll have to be a terrible warning.”

— Suzanne Braun Levine

Laughter not time destroyed my voice And put that crack in it, And when the moon's pot-bellied I get a laughing fit.

— William Butler Yeats

If you like a conversational style of comedy, if you like comedy that's a little dangerous, I'm your guy.

— Ari Shaffir

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

— Anonymous

We are targeted when humor is not taken in the right spirit, but that's a part and parcel of this profession.

— Kiku Sharda

Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke?

— Michelle Wolf

PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

— Ambrose Bierce

“The size of a man’s understanding may always be justly measured by his mirth.”

— Samuel Johnson

I think it's important to have a sense of humor. You have to be able to laugh at yourself.

— Engelbert Humperdinck

“‪If the overuse of adjectives is frowned upon in writing, why are expletives—the ones commonly used as adjectives—embraced?”

— Carmen DeSousa

Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

— Anonymous

“It is always dangerous when your enemy has a sense of humor. Ask Batman.”

— ian mcdonald

For me personally, being a comedian is having funny ideas and saying them: it's not just saying them. I need the complete…

— Frank Skinner

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

— Margaret Cho

When certain people hear "'SNL' comedy," rightfully so, you expect it to be a certain kind of goofiness.

— Will Forte

“He stumbled out of his phlegmatic apathy, when she entered his life like an epiphany.”

— Neelniki