I look at things logically. The humor I do is to go from A to B to C to D, and F… — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
“Whatever dude, just as long as you're ok with carrying this thing out looking like Disco Barbie, it's cool with us.” — Rachel Higginson Copy Share Image
You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
After making several tragic movies in a row, I was looking to do a comedy, and one without cynicism. — Ang Lee Copy Share Image
It never seems to occur to some people, that, like beauty, a sense of humor may sometimes be fatal. — Edgar Rice Burroughs Copy Share Image
I had no way to have a sense of humor about The Exorcist. I didn't know how. And this enabled me. — Linda Blair Copy Share Image
“This is why I have trust issues. -A girl realizing her shampoo will never make her look like the model in the… — Julie Johnson Copy Share Image
“After being diagnose as bi-polar...I feel that laughter is the best medicine for all. I find that I can't write humorously and be… — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
What's fascinating about doing comedy about the referendum is, because it is the first time, it is the most extraordinary atmosphere. You… — Rory Bremner Copy Share Image
I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
The girls that I grew up with, and my friends and I, we just never had interests in common. I loved comedy.… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
“He came in. “Yes, Miss Marshall?” He looked… so innocent. Stephen was good at looking innocent; a necessary skill for a man… — Courtney Milan Copy Share Image
Our brand of democracy is hard. But I can promise that a year from now, when I no longer hold this office,… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
Comedy is harder, because if there's no laughs, it's pretty bad. But drama, if there's no reaction, you can say, 'Well, it's… — Fred Willard Copy Share Image
I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“Mimes! You can't tell me the devil doesn't have anything to do with mimes!-Paula, Holy Smokes” — Katie MacAlister Copy Share Image
“We Three Kings of Leicester Square, Selling ladies’ underwear, So fantastic, no elastic, Only tuppence a pair.” — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
“Claire to Tony: "I know you enjoy coffee, I'd offer you some. But, the last time I got you coffee, it didn't… — Aleatha Romig Copy Share Image
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Pennsylvania." The boys nodded appreciatively, as if Abby had said Emily was from Naughty Dirty Sex Land” — Sara Shepard Copy Share Image
Comedy was not necessarily the thing that I thought it would be, but I was searching for something that felt scary to… — Rachel Brosnahan Copy Share Image
“The only thing set in stone are dumb quotes and names of dead people. Everything else is subject to change.” — Kimberly Spencer Copy Share Image
When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Comedy is unique in the sense that laughter is a palpable noise that everyone makes. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
You're spreading rumors about me? At least you found a hobby spreading something other than your legs. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
Laughter dulls the sharpest pain and flattens out the greatest stress. To share it is to give a gift of health. — Barbara Johnson Copy Share Image
Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
“What a cheek. I do live a healthy life style. I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don;t exercise, how much… — Lynda Renham Copy Share Image
The minute you celebrate narcissism, which on one hand is very complex, it's very ridiculous. You have to love oneself with humor. — Nicolas Winding Refn Copy Share Image
When the comedy community turned on me, I had a lot of reflecting to do. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
There is a kind of laughter people laugh at public events, as if a joke were a charity auction and they want… — William McIlvanney Copy Share Image
Roses are red violets are blue if your parents said that you are beautiful they're lying you. — Gothsynster Copy Share Image
Thomas Chong is a bad influence on children because of his drug use and crude humor — Unkown Copy Share Image
There are some things on which you can't place a value, your laughter is one of them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love mustaches with all my heart. There's just something about sketch comedy and mustaches. — Will Forte Copy Share Image
Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Comedy is my proper job. It's what I should be doing, and when I do other bits like my science series, I… — Ben Miller Copy Share Image
“These were wannabe elites who, once they popped on big-boy pants, would be infiltrating New York with their pretentiousness.” — Alexandra Martin Copy Share Image
