“A lizard fucks a crab and nine months later a turtle pops out. It's called evolution.” — Anthony Marra Copy Share Image
“Most people, aware of the number of difficulties already present in a thief's life, were kind enough to use the same few… — Brent Weeks Copy Share Image
Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“They didn't just live with secrets. Secrecy surrounded their entire lives.” — Anthony Horowitz Copy Share Image
“I like visiting people in prison. I can say whatever I want to them, and they can’t do anything about it.” — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
Just because I have a sense of humor and use bright colors, people always say it's 'camp.' I'm just doing my thing.… — Hunx Copy Share Image
The three phrases that'll get you through life: 1: Cover for me. 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! 3: It was like that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. "If there's anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I'll… — Kristin Cashore Copy Share Image
“The thing is, Fallon . . . I told you before to lock the door if you wanted me to stay out.… — Penelope Douglas Copy Share Image
“He left as silently as he'd come. Pierre LaManche favored crepe-soled shoes, kept his pockets empty so nothing jangled or swished. Like… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
I've always felt that there's a lot of similarity between doing a comedy and doing a scary movie because jokes and scares… — Paul W. S. Anderson Copy Share Image
A favorite film of mine is 'Office Space' and I love 'The Hangover.' That is a really good comedy from character in… — Seth Gordon Copy Share Image
“Greg was a supernice guy and a good tenant.” “I met him only once, but he seemed pretty cool,” I said. “Of… — Diana Rowland Copy Share Image
Edinburgh is the most pressurised environment to do comedy. You get an hour. There's no compere. You'd better be on the money… — Dominic Holland Copy Share Image
The difference between farce and humour in literature is, I suppose, that farce strums louder and louder on one string, while humour… — V. S. Pritchett Copy Share Image
“Are you going to let me be eaten?' Billy Beecham looks stunned. 'Don't you know that sometimes Beast collectors get collected?' I… — Maria Dahvana Headley Copy Share Image
A sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable. — Moshe Waldoks Copy Share Image
“Some people believe in imaginary friends. I believe in imaginary numbers.” — R.M. ArceJaeger Copy Share Image
Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing youre life is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Just for the record, I have come to fear all of your ideas in advance, simply from having endured enough of them.” — Violet Haberdasher Copy Share Image
“Women divided by ego and united by gossip , Men divided by women and united by beer” — Yash Gupta Copy Share Image
“It’s not our job to pick up another’s fears or even their strengths. Work on your own fears and strengths, that’s your… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“If Patti Lupone was born to play Evita then Madonna was born to play Patti Lupone playing Evita.” — Buck Bannister Copy Share Image
“When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
“Unless you're under 12 or into role playing, you shouldn't be wearing Mickey Mouse ears #AHOLE” — Andy Ostrom Copy Share Image
If you see our films like 'Coolie No 1,' 'Hero No 1' and 'Biwi No 1,' there is a very good story… — Jackky Bhagnani Copy Share Image
I was seized by the stern hand of Compulsion, that dark, unreasonable Urge that impels women to clean house in the middle… — James Thurber Copy Share Image
“Do not ever give up trying - because eventually you will win." Judge Greg Mathis” — Greg Mathis Copy Share Image
“To Kalist, Baumauer’s just a timber bridge in need of a good hot fire.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
“Don't wear perfume in the garden - unless you want to be pollinated by bees! ” — Anne Raver Copy Share Image
Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“If we have to, we can all go to Hell together—maybe there's a group rate.” — Spider Robinson Copy Share Image
Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more than generate irony. — Lionel Trilling Copy Share Image
Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Don't get mad about the infestation of fleas if you keep shopping at the dog pound.” — Valerie J. Lewis Coleman Copy Share Image
They Always Says Live Today , Fight Tommorow, But I Always Go By The Mantra,Fight Today You Might Live Tommorow. — FazeelAhmed Copy Share Image
Wise men are not wise at all hours, and will speak five times from their taste or their humor, to once from… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
I never ask my wife about my flaws. Instead I try to get her to ignore them and concentrate on my sense… — Paul Newman Copy Share Image
Chris Brown punching hoes, Ochocinco headbutting hoes, bus drivers uppercutting hoes, these hoes wont be acting up much longer! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
