“These days. Most of us have the attention span of a meth-addicted squirrel.” — Kristen Lamb Copy Share Image
“Am I on your walk of shame? You did sleep with the right MacGregor, didn’t you?” — Michelle M. Pillow Copy Share Image
Comedy is quite hard and it takes like a decade to figure out what kind of comedian you are, so don't quit. — Rose Matafeo Copy Share Image
I might look like somebody who lives next door but I've a dark, twisted sense of humour. — Sarah Millican Copy Share Image
There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“I sort of kind of said something a little like that but maybe not clearly enough to sound like that... But it's… — Mary Eva Swatek Copy Share Image
I always hear people say that only God can judge them, but I guess its because they have never been to court. — Paballo Nhambiri Copy Share Image
“I wish I was 18 again, not that I don't like the age I'm at right now, but at 18yrs old I… — Michael Nuccio Copy Share Image
“Leila. Schoolgirls are like sports cars. They're nice to look at, but they're impractical. In the end, they don't do what you… — Lucy V. Morgan Copy Share Image
“Stumbling out of the debris cloud, I ran smack into Jules. "What the hell did ya do?" she asked in exasperation. "I… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Ride?" Rhage snorted. "Please. That thing is a sewing machine with an air dam taped to it. My GTO could dust the… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
I think shows that have more of a narrative and are about what's going to happen next, those need to wrap up… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
You don't want to continue to do one thing and only one thing. You want to keep challenging yourself and if you… — Lucy Liu Copy Share Image
People always say 'You do racial comedy.' And I don't, exactly. I do cultural comedy. Because race and culture are two different… — Russell Peters Copy Share Image
“You looked ridiculous walking around the city carrying an empty wineglass. I don't care to be associated with a drunk. Particularly one… — Danielle L. Jensen Copy Share Image
“The whole of the realm denies it, brother," said Renly. "Old men deny it with their death rattle, and unborn children deny… — George R.R Martin Copy Share Image
“He who smiles in a crisis; has finally found someone to blame.” — Anonymous Hedge Fund Manager Copy Share Image
I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“There are two rules for sucess: 1. Never tell everything you know.” — Roger H. Lincoln Copy Share Image
“Cross-country skiing is fine as long as you live in a small country.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
