Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'The spider is more sacred of you than you're scared of it!' Oh really, did it tell you that?! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The sound of silence, when you realize that you have no kids… ha ha ha... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper? You don't say anything, just stand there... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel like L.A. is more of a showcase, and Chicago is a pure comedy scene where you're doing comedy for comedy.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was never really comfortable doing comedy. Though it was good the first couple of years, there were problems, and it became… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything ” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I like cars the way I like my men. I pick them up, grab the stick, and drive them hard down the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I found the key to success¦however, I found a note from success's landlord saying that the locks have been changed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just as true humor is laughter at oneself, true humanity is knowledge of oneself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
2 blondes go to disneyland the sign said Disneyland left so they went home and cried — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're like a Password. Hard to figure out, but I always want to keep trying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today is April Fools' Day. Believe nothing and trust no one... Just like any other day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughing is the best medicine.But if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The people of the United States will do anything for Latin America, except read about it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like fish... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
