When love feels like magic, it's called destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, it's called serendipity. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To live above with the saints we love, oh that will be glory... to live below with the saints we know well,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're actually telling the truth, but you're laughing so everyone thinks you're lying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won't text while going down stairs. That shits dangerous. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry no one understood you were making an April Fool's joke because no one thinks you have a sense of humor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If chocolate was a guy...he'd totally be my boyfriend. He knows how to comfort me in all the right ways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughter brings in a special friendship. Laughter brings in love and laughter brings in a new wonderful life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A baby's laughter is the most BEAUTIFUL sounds in the world.. Unless its 3AM, your home alone, and you don't have a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Calories: the tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes that tiny bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Beer:$10, Weed:$20, Condoms:$2.75. Finding out she swallows and has no gag reflex... PRICELESS! Fuck mastercard it pays to discover! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can make even the dullest day so damn interesting with your bright smile and hilarious sense of humor. You are simply… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I may have overmothered you and screwed you up in ways large and small, but I think it’s time you took some… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend has to asks you whats wrong, a good friend has a shoulder for you to cry on, but a best-friend… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
After God created the world, He made man and woman. Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You say I'm a bi**h? Well a bi**h is a dog, and dogs bark, and bark is on trees, and trees are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad for you, sugar is bad for you. But don't worry, because worrying is bad… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
5 Things I Find Attractive; A woman with a good sense of humor. A pretty smile. Bright eyes. Soft hair. A horrifying… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Guy 1: hey, man, can you do me a favor? Guy 2: yeah, what? Guy 1: when I die, can you update… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Anytime you hear of anyone dying suddenly, it ought to ensure you appreciate the need to live suddenly.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love going back and forth from drama to comedy. I love switching it around and showing people that I can do… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Relationships are like yard sales, they look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but then you realize its just a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel as ignored as a white crayon, the first piece of bread, Internet explorer, the terms of agreement, and the 18yrs+… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I didn’t make a fool out of myself.’ ” By JULIET MACUR A comedy routine broke out Monday during Venus Williams’s first-round match… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“For me, boviscopophobia (=the morbid fear of being seen as bovine) is an even stronger motive than semi-agoraphobia for staying on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When love feels like magic, you call it destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, you call it serendipity. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't take life too seriously & always find time to laugh cuz laughter not only add years to your life, but adds… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughing will give your diaphragm a workout, will show you have a sense of humor, and can increase your life by eight… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pops added,you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve. And if you do, you never get… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I, Lisa K Friedman, being of sound mind and broken foot, served him with a mock complaint: breach of the marriage contract.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend will calm you down when your angry. A best friend will skip beside you singing 'someone's going to get it.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As accidental as my life may be, or as that random humor is, which governs it, I know nothing, after all, so… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
