Did you hear this big scandal? Eight female badminton players were expelled from the Olympics for trying to lose on purpose. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
BBM for Andriod is the new Google+ account. Everyone wanted it. Everyone got it. And no one has any idea what to… — Tufail Mehraj Copy Share Image
“My parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“Who are you?’ Gaia gasped. The girl froze for a moment. Looked at her. Smiled and said, ‘Who am I? I’m the… — Michael Grant Copy Share Image
When I get a cold sore, I put Carmex on it, because Carmex is supposed to alleviate cold sores. I don't know… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Exact definition of physics:physics is the study of finding a black cat in a dark room when there is no cat actually,you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is one thing to go on stage and be funny or be in a good place in your career, but for… — Pamela Stephenson Copy Share Image
Dear Companies,u need only men having experience…without giving us a chance,how we ll get experience fools... :P :) — Aravind J L Copy Share Image
To get something you must give something away. To hold something you must give something away. To love something you must give… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
“What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
These guys Steve Harvey and Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac claim they're the Kings of Comedy. They may be funny, but… — Rudy Ray Moore Copy Share Image
“I had no idea he thought he was funny, tried to be funny, or actually is funny until he made me laugh… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If he can't get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?" "With great care," Donegan suggested. "How about… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken… — Miss Piggy Copy Share Image
I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the… — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
If my mom knew HALF of the stuff I've done and got away with...she'd kill me and tell no one where she… — Jerett Parker Copy Share Image
A day will Finally Come wen the Whole World will Celebrte ur Name,ur Fame,ur Thoughts,ur Ideas..Bt u hav to wait for 10… — Hasfa Copy Share Image
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
I personally find it difficult to accept that there could be anyone on earth insensitive to the comic abilities of Laurel and… — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
I'm a funny guy. I love to laugh. I love to have a good time. You'll never see me down or, before… — Ha Ha Clinton-Dix Copy Share Image
“You've come to give me a piece of your mind, I repeated, looking at her. "You know that phrase is really beautiful.… — Cecelia Ahern Copy Share Image
“Her feelings for Jeremy were like Schrodinger’s Crush. As long as she didn’t open the box, their relationship existed in a state… — Susannah Nix Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of dieters: those who are always telling you what to eat and those who are always telling you… — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
“I know it’s technically goodwill to all men, but in my mind, I drop the men because that feels segregationist/elitist/sexist/generally bad ist.… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be… — Michael J. Fox Copy Share Image
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading… — Emaliebaby Copy Share Image
My love..! Your good wishes are always with me. This world knows that Im alive,but life is not such a life without… — Mohd Aariff Khan Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. Eons ago, we created a Universe, then sat back and watched miniature versions of… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?" — Red Buttons Copy Share Image
“Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that “women aren't funny.” Using that same math, I can… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Always work on the things you're not good at, because once you develop skills in those areas, you have no more fears. — Caio Terra Copy Share Image
My damn phone doesn't allow me text or call due to low battery but it has enough battery to keep screaming, Low… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny because once you do a comedy then the next opportunities you get are sort of in that line. I would… — Kristen Bell Copy Share Image
This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I grew up in a bit of a vacuum. And as a kid, you see 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' and you're like,… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
“It was weird, ’cause there we were in Italy listening to people singing in German. The music was nice, though, and there… — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
“I tear my lips away from hers and fling her over my shoulder. “Hey!” she protests, kicking her feet and slapping me… — Dolores Lane Copy Share Image
When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
“I brought you some coffee.” he held out the cup but she waved it away. “I hate that stuff. It tastes like… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
