She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The author looms above his page and thinks it strange that at his age he cannot find the proper words to describe… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At home, he's a 100-percent softie; that's who he is. I just blew his cover. When Howard has a really stressful day… — Beth Ostrosky Stern Copy Share Image
Why am I researching if 1 antique gun should be excluded when my 'client' was caught with 3 other unregistered, newer guns? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
I'm in the public eye, so I don't care who knows what I get done. If I see something sagging, dragging, or… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
You've only got to be in public life for about a week before you start to question if the newspapers are even… — Jonathan Lynn Copy Share Image
“Get him now?" Duncan asked. He looked at the sword in his hand. Unsure of what he should do, he tossed the… — Christopher Healy Copy Share Image
Optimism isnt funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. Its exaggeration. — Steve Toltz Copy Share Image
“She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their… — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
Usain Bolt won the gold for the men's 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member. — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Let's say I'm not feeling well, and somebody would say to me, 'Just do an easy show, just go out and do… — Gene Pitney Copy Share Image
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem! — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Who says that Delhi Police is notdoing its job honestly. What proof is needed for the honesty and dedication with which DelhiPolice… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“Valérie: "You know, you don't need to be a lesbian to be a feminist. Nor do you need short hair to be… — Clémentine Beauvais Copy Share Image
“I angle my head down and peer up at him through my lashes in what I hope is an alluring manner. I… — Rachel Morgan Copy Share Image
The question to ask is not whether you are a success or a failure, but whether you are a learner or a… — Benjamin Barber Copy Share Image
I was always fat and not very athletic. Finally in my junior year I went on a diet. I got down from… — Divine Copy Share Image
“The fact that you and I are acquaintances only interested and amused the ghosts further. Gossip bunch, really.” — August Westman Copy Share Image
WOMAN is the most harmless, self-controlled, well-mannered, undisturbed, non-violent human being…until her nail polish gets dried. — Asli Copy Share Image
It is therefore correct to say that the senses do not err — not because they always judge rightly, but because they… — Immanuel Kant Copy Share Image
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Shit,” Seth grunts. “Maybe he does have a magic dick.” Jackson snickers, but I don’t find it funny at all. Not in… — Skyla Madi Copy Share Image
I try to tweet, but I still haven't gotten into the rhythm as much as some people who have, like, 20,000 tweets.… — Sam Richardson Copy Share Image
“You know, If you weren't tiny, cute and remarkably innocent looking I'd be running away right now. This feels like the set-up… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is best assured when, instead of looking at each other, the two look out in the same direction; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This is getting so weird.. Whom I liked and loved are either married,engaged,interested but emotionally damaged,has kid,not in the mood, and a… — Jaseem Kapoor Copy Share Image
I have a spaniel that defrocked a nun last week. He took hold of the cord. I had hold of the leash.… — E. B. White Copy Share Image
I think it's funny, if you look at Brian Cage, the guy calls himself 'The Machine.' 265 lbs and spends a lot… — Austin Aries Copy Share Image
All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
My routine isn't so much dreaming up the comedy as just seeing what happens to me. I seem to be leading a… — John Pinette Copy Share Image
I'm not old, I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck... Everything made the same… — Bernajoy Vaal Copy Share Image
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: lets see the evolutionists try and figure this one out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They're dead. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
