Johnny Knoxville has such an incredible humanity to him when you meet him. He's so warm and so funny, and he can… — Max Winkler Copy Share Image
You know that you know the true meaning of sacrificial brotherly love when you let someone else be your favorite character in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don’t think men have time to be funny because they have to make all of our rules about what we can… — Jenny Slate Copy Share Image
“Why are you wearing a T-shirt under your other T-shirt?" Livvy asked. "In case one of them is stolen," Marked said, as… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this woman… — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
“Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
It's funny how when your kids get sick, they get even cuter when they have a stuffed nose and they mouth breathe. — David Walton Copy Share Image
I like to create characters that are larger than life. But it's funny because I do a lot of bad guys, and… — Peter Stormare Copy Share Image
I like to think my accent isn't strong enough, but it's funny: I get people coming up to me in America and… — Rachel Shenton Copy Share Image
I didn't have a job because nobody would hire me. My friends were getting hired, and I couldn't even get a job… — Tyra Banks Copy Share Image
School year: Me: Yeaaa it's Saturday, Let's do something crazy!! Friend: Totally! Summer: Me: Dude, what day is it? Friend: I think… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
She had been critical of his new torch song, "A Side Order of Heartache, Please," suggesting it could be used as a… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“No one should have to walk down a church aisle with a bouquet of flowers unless she was the bride, already had… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
'Jurassic Park' movies don't fit into a specific genre. They're sci-fi adventures that also have to be funny, emotional, and scary as… — Colin Trevorrow Copy Share Image
Once in a while, I played second base; once in a while, outfield. But those were just pickup games and softball leagues.… — George Steinbrenner Copy Share Image
It's funny - before, I would say I'm not sure I can change a diaper in my life and now it's, 'I… — Maryse Mizanin Copy Share Image
It's funny because I remember playing 'Grand Turismo,' and I would get yelled at by my brother for moving the controller as… — AJ Lee Copy Share Image
People are often surprised that I am so upbeat. I'm always hearing, 'You're so light and funny, and your books are so… — John Searles Copy Share Image
Hey U Know Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1 U Know Why?? If she accept its your… — Hafsa Copy Share Image
Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this: If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11… — Babloo Copy Share Image
I Don't Get why Guys Say Girls With No Asses Should NOT Wear Shorts/Leggings When Guys Wear Muscle Shirts WITHOUT Muscles ..… — Karina Zavala Copy Share Image
“Randalin rushes toward the door, nearly running into Heather in his haste. He blinks at her in astonishment, clearly not prepared for… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't make no difference so [long as] you… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“I was washing the dishes and the sneaky bastard crept up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. And kissed… — Samantha Young Copy Share Image
“Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly...” — Saket Assertive Copy Share Image
I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
That moment that when you are walking on the street, remember something very funny and can't stop smiling like a retard — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're going through a divorce and you're in a comedy you have to find some way to find the funny side… — Alan Ruck Copy Share Image
Arranged Marriages: All your life you are expected not to talk to strangers and all of sudden you are expected to sleep… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Advice of the day: If you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go with what… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Even when the sex is great, sometimes women just want to be held, shown attention and listened to attentively making them feel… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A successful man is one who can earn more money than his wife can possibly spend. A successful woman is one who… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The police have no leads as yet on the person or persons who painted obscene suggestions on the buildings. One store owner… — Anne Bishop Copy Share Image
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image