The gospel points us upward to a God who gave himself for us, backward to the price he paid for our sin,… — J. D. Greear Copy Share Image
“I think you must be some kind of a freak. Either that or you’re trying to convert me to your secret horse… — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
Dear EGNSLIH TECAEHR As lnog as the fsrit & lsat lteter r in the smae palce, u can siltl raed tihs. Sincerely… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Just called the police on my girlfriend. She hasn't committed a crime, I just want them to come and remind her she… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down… — Ron White Copy Share Image
“What the fuck is going on Lor? What the hell did you do last night? What did you say to Kacey? Who… — J.C. McClean Copy Share Image
“I can't dance, remember?" I whispered. "It's just a tango. It is like sex, except with clothes on." Then, squeezing me closer:… — Joe Schreiber Copy Share Image
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My stepfather was a brilliant and funny psychiatrist but he was a hound dog. He just didn't know how to be faithful. — Sean Hepburn Ferrer Copy Share Image
“If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov Copy Share Image
I’ve long advised that bloggers seeking to make money from blogging spread their interests across multiple revenue streams so as not to… — Darren Rowse Copy Share Image
“Power comes at a price, love," Veliss replied through bared teeth, maintaining the smile she offered to the townsfolk lining the square.… — Anthony Ryan Copy Share Image
Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Christmas gets longer and longer and longer, and… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
You're either recording a hit song or you're not; you've either got something that's worth recording or you haven't. — Gus Dudgeon Copy Share Image
When we [Migos] talk about whatever we're talking about, and you visualise it, that's what we really went through. — Quavo Copy Share Image
Early on, many years ago when we started 'Avatar,' the executive that we were working with said to make the sad scenes… — Bryan Konietzko Copy Share Image
“I know what party you’re talking about. I might have to swing through. Especially if you’re going to be there in a… — Chanelle Gray Copy Share Image
The more we get what we now call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
Do you ever just lie in your bed,and think: Is this me? Am I really alive? Am I really here? Or is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Funny, that. For so long Wormwood had desired the throne and then, when he'd had it, it hadn't been worth desiring after… — John Connolly Copy Share Image
Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It was seventh grade or something like that when we started falling in love with stuff like Sam Raimi and Wes Craven… — Ross Duffer Copy Share Image
Girl with black hair: I had sex sanding up so I'm going to have a boy. Red head I had sex laying… — Unknow Copy Share Image
“What's happening here?" This last bit was hissed to Ronan and Noah. "Noah took a personal day." "I lost..." Noah struggled for… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
Women say porn sites portray an unrealistic image of their beauty therefore making them feel inadequate. And then they buy 12 inch dildos. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of… — Hannibal Buress Copy Share Image
The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice;… — George Burns Copy Share Image
When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
If you have a choice between ugly or fat; You can turn lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a… — Thomas Sadoski Copy Share Image
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say… — Aristotle Copy Share Image
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
It's funny to see how people react to the project, to read their thoughts, and I wonder aloud, 'Did they even watch… — Craig Robinson Copy Share Image
Humor strips dominated what were called the funny papers early in the century, but by the 1920s and '30s, adventure strips had… — Mort Walker Copy Share Image
“You were at the party on Friday night, weren't you?" I didn't mentioned I'd followed him into the woods. He leaned back… — Alyxandra Harvey Copy Share Image
A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
![“When we [Migos] talk about whatever we're talking about, and you visualise it, that's what we really went through.” quote by Quavo](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/018/quavo-8176_funny_when-we-migos-talk-about-whatever-we-re_381953.jpg)
![“The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because it's just so... he says so many things.” quote by Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/6e8/doug-benson-8961_comic_the-motion-picture-deadpool-was-my-favor_1857267.jpg)
