Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I have always considered myself an expert on women's liberation . In the last fifteen years ,I have given two their freedom myself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Eddie Murphy is just so off-the-cuff and can make anything funny. You hope that someday you'll acquire that skill, but maybe you're… — Michael Pena Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, I was not a fan of horror when I was a kid. I was scared to watch scary… — Genndy Tartakovsky Copy Share Image
To the lady with 6 screaming kids, at the store. If your wondering how a box of condoms got in your basket,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love Hugh Jackman. Love Hugh Jackman. He's the coolest. He's one of the coolest actors I've ever worked with, and I'll… — Bryan Singer Copy Share Image
Everything is beautiful depends upon the situation.. A school bell sounds irritating at 8 am but the same bell sounds melodious at 2 pm. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“Of course, I'd like to have fake legs. I would dance with a boy and then afterwards pull up my dress to… — Victor Ladato Copy Share Image
Relationship is like apple it require care and refreshment. Your relation will damage shortly if you are not serious. — Mohd Aariff Khan Copy Share Image
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed." — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
LOVE, A situation -- when it is true, does not mean gazing into each other's eyes, but looking outward together in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The world would be a nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. And it would be even better if some of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Mom, I had a night mare, can I sleep with ya? Mom: yes, sure by the way do ya wanna tell… — Eliza Brittany Lawn Copy Share Image
“Neythen looked perplexed. 'My mum always said I'm named after a saint, not an illness.' 'Which one?' 'Well he had his head… — Eloisa James Copy Share Image
*BEFORE YOU KISS A GIRL* - Grab her waist. - Pull her close to you. - Look into her eyes. - Look… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Finally, we entered Chetaube County, my imaginary birthplace, where the names of the little winding roads and minuscule mountain communities never failed… — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
“So...what are you delivering today -- pizza or death?" "Both, actually. Pepperoni for you now, and a fatal aneurism to the woman… — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
It's a very ancient culture, British culture. You can't be seen to be too wealthy, and you certainly can't be seen to… — Trudie Styler Copy Share Image
It's upsetting that it is such a big deal. I wish it weren't an issue all the time. It's funny that people… — Randy Harrison Copy Share Image
Biggest fact of life- even if all the musician join together to create a melody to make us sleep, they cannot win… — Hafsa Copy Share Image
“If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
When we began working on Parque Pumalin, rumours flew that we were establishing a nuclear waste site for the United States or,… — Douglas Tompkins Copy Share Image
Now I'm just like everybody else, and it's so funny, the way monogamy is funny, the way someone falling down in the… — Jeffrey McDaniel Copy Share Image
When life stresses you out, eat a carrot. It won't make your life any better, but at least you're helping out the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“I mean, we're ninjas." "Well maybe you're a ninja," I said "You're just a really loud, awkward ninja," Margo said, "but we… — John Green Copy Share Image
“You see I've been taking these tests to tell when I'm ovulating and when I'm mostfertile. And well...it's now." "Oh, so you… — Katie Ashley Copy Share Image
Some people are brilliant at being comedy actors and if you're a comedian I think there's a perception that, if you're acting… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
It's funny, we all really, really got along. I don't know how it was in years past but this year, I was… — LaToya London Copy Share Image
Dirty joke! Timmy fell in mud. Clean joke! Timmy played with bubbles in the bath. Dirty part of Clean joke! Bubbles was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I’m sure all of that’s true. Especially the anal bit--Marshall’s always been an ass--but I don’t see how this is relevant, unless… — Krista Alasti Copy Share Image
On 'Catfish,' I'm a co-host and onscreen cameraman, maybe the second onscreen cameraman after Wes Bentley's turn in 'American Beauty,' which is… — Max Joseph Copy Share Image
Judge Ephriam: Bryan, does she watch your kids? Brian Simmons: Oh, she's actually really good, she's a big diciplinarian though, but uh...… — Madea Copy Share Image
The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
How complicated can ice cream flavors be? How much can you put in there? I mean, when the flavor's something like banana… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Seriously, I do 20 lengths a day. I get a few funny looks in the pool from people who think, 'Isn't that… — Shaun Ryder Copy Share Image
If I could play any role in any musical, it would be Desiree in 'A Little Night Music' - Oh my, it… — Nancy Allen Copy Share Image
“And since when is stealing people's possessions the call of God? you are all hypocrites who have suddenly come into power, and… — Dalia Sofer Copy Share Image
![“Judge Ephriam: Bryan, does she watch your kids? Brian Simmons: Oh, she's actually really good, she's a big diciplinarian though, but uh... they have a lot of respect for her. Judge Ephriam: Really? [Looks over at Nikki] Judge Ephriam: Stand up Nikki. [Nikki stands up] Judge Ephriam: Mable Simmons…” quote by Madea](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/c6a/madea-3628_electric-chair_judge-ephriam-bryan-does-she-watch-your_512373.jpg)
